The Original Nomads

The Christmas Window Horror

2011-12-14T13:21:00.000-07:00

Our first snow of the season came yesterday morning. Abby was thrilled to ride around in her sled while I pulled her. It was a raw deal for one of us. Strangely, it was pretty warm outside.

Oliver will put his fingers anywhere. And I mean a.n.y.w.h.e.r.e. He's also a big fan of putting his fingers in my mouth, so when I get the plague you won't have to guess were I got it.

Jeremy loved these drawers as a baby and Ollie is just like his dad. He spends a good part of the day sitting in them or emptying them out.

When not in the drawers, Ollie is terrorizing the Christmas tree and jumping on the presents below it.

Oliver is probably not going to be a prophet, as he quite frequently stakes claim in the manager and throws the Savior overboard.

He always seems rather surprised to find the baby on the floor. How did it get there?

In the meanwhile, Abby and Grandma have been cooking up a storm!

Yams and apples:

Cheese balls:

Christmas sugar cookies:

Aunt Holly and Uncle Spencer gave Abby a gift certificate to Build a Bear. If you've never been there, it's a place where you get to hand make your own stuffed animal. First you pick the shell. Then you select a sound you want it to make. Next you get your stuffing on. Pick an outfit, give it a name, make a certificate, pay the big cash..... and you're done. Abby stinking LOVED it.

Everyone wanted in on the action, so there were six adults for one bear. There were a million super sweet and adorable outfits. Some I would have worn, if I were bear sized and needed a hole in the back of my clothes for my tail. With all those great choices, Abby selected a knit sweater, jean shorts, see-through high heels, sunglasses, and a hot pink cellphone. Just like in real life, I congratulated her on making a fun choice and then gave other parents looks that said, "Whose child is this and what were they thinking when they put that outfit on her?" She named the bear Abby, of course.

This photo is here so that I can show off my Beijing squat. Offensive, I know. But if you ever lived there, and I have, you would know that real Beijiners can squat for hours with the most meticulous balance. It's awesome and I've always coveted their mad skills. Now that I don't have thunder thighs, I can also squat like a trooper. Try it for five minutes and then tell me it doesn't take talent. Be jealous!

I love this photo and I'm going to frame it for my living room.

Who has hot hair?

Olivia Newton John called. She wants her hairband put on correctly.

Denna got to speak at her Stake Conference while we were visiting. Elder Ballard was there. There is no pressure like speaking in front of an apostle.

I love this Nativity scene that Spencer's parents sent back from Ghana. They were mission presidents there.

So grandma had the awesome (?) idea that Abby should put up the Christmas window stickers unsupervised.

Be Still My Soul.

Things were upside down, overlapped, unevenly spaced, and unequally divided by cartoon theme. I might have literally shed a tear. All I want for Christmas is some OCD medicine to overcome this window of horror. I have a feeling I'm going to be fixing it while "sleep walking" this evening. And by "sleep walking" I mean setting an alarm and counting down the minutes until it's done.

I caught Grandma taking apart the CD player this morning. She's hardcore about getting things done bright and early!

The First Week in Utah

2011-12-11T10:50:00.001-07:00

I was a little nervous about taking a flight with two kids. It turns out, I had a right to be a little on edge. We had to leave at 3:30AM to get to the airport. The kids did awesome on that super short flight to France. Abby was fantastic on our 11 hour flight to Salt Lake City. Oliver, on the other hand, was super chill until we hit hour 8; then he became the mad whiner. The crescendo of our trip was certainly when Oliver fell off his chair and got his sucker stuck in the hair of the man in front of us. I got it out before he could figure out what it was. I am pretty sure he thought Oliver pulled his hair. Silly man -- you've been Chupa Chuped!

We are having a blast in Utah. Here, in no particular order, are some random shots of some of the things we did this week.

Abby and Uncle Spencer were in charge of the scrambled eggs for the Christmas breakfast. She got nearly all of them in the bowl.

Mom claims that smoke coming from the stove is normal. We couldn't help but double check.

Everyone gets a turn at grandma's house.

Abby is fascinated by all things makeup. Now she is obsessed with all things hair removal. I wonder who will be missing an eyebrow when we return to Berlin.

We spent a wonderful afternoon with Grandma Great and Ba.

This is a photo that showed up from our house in Berlin. Oliver loves the cheese grater. Not the safest toy, but...

St. Nicholas showed up a few days before we left. Conveniently, he left a ton of toys we could use on the airplane to entertain the kids.

The sweet girls -- Abby and Lucy. Abby tenderly loved on both her new cousins. She loves to hold babies, against my better judgement.

Ollie getting a better look.

Ollie ditched the toy, of course, and made himself a slide from the box.

Santa has serious creepy eyes in this photo. He looks a little too happy be holding babies.

Ollie was NOT down to be held by Santa in the beginning.

Then something happened -- Ollie became enamored with Santa. He is amazing. A Christmas miracle!

He just can't take his eyes off Santa. He needs to come on the plane and hold Oliver so no one else gets a new sticky hairdo.

Spencer is a machine on the toy construction. It pays to have uncles with mad skills.

We saw Momma kissing Santa Claus. So hot.

Lucy was thrilled to eat wrapping paper...

... and toys.

Santa loves twins.

Sweet boy cousins -- Tate and Ollie.

Dresden

2011-12-06T11:31:00.001-07:00

Since we were going home for Christmas this year, we attempted to fit as many Christmas markets as we could into the first advent week. We even made a trip down to Dresden -- a city that was literally obliterated during WW2. What was left is stunning. I'd love to go back sometime without children :)

Dora the Explorer goes everywhere we go. Like a thorn in my side, I am bothered by her high-pitched nasal squeals and obnoxious hand waving. I'd like to see Swiper punch in the face just one time.

It was freezing, so both kids were content to sleep in the stroller covered with blankets. I borrowed this awesome coat from my friend. I am always so unprepared.

Ontario burger steakhouse. Yes, please!

This dude hand cranks the swings. This leads me to wonder: does he have one really strong and large right arm and one wimpy small and slender left arm? Does his body lean towards the heavier arm? Does he fall to the left when he does push ups? Nobody else seemed bothered by this. What's wrong with them?

Here are two (of the 20) random videos I took this week. Enjoy!

Trying to Catch Up

2011-11-22T12:33:00.006-07:00

About a month ago, Oliver started creeping around the house. He can push shopping carts, musical lions, and chairs from one side of the room to the other. He can climb like a monkey. He's also learned to pull himself up in his crib, which leaves me equally proud and annoyed. Do you see that ONE tooth he's sporting? He has another one half way out of his gum. Hot.

Abby, on the other hand, has decided she can't walk at all. If there is a street light anywhere within a mile radius, she is going to take a running leap and smack her face into it. I wish I was joking. Check out the massive bonk in the middle of her head.

About a week later it turned yellow and left her with two black eyes. She couldn't be any cuter.

Jeremy and I have an awesome new restaurant we can't stop eating at. It's called The Bird, and they have the best burgers and fries in all of Berlin. We took some of our favorite people there for dinner on Saturday and then we all went back to our friends place for a night of pudding brownies and board games. The Bird will be the reason why I'm wearing sweatpants for our Christmas vacation next month. It's ruined any chance I had at reaching my goal weight. And I don't stinking care. Okay, I do a little bit. Whatever.

The lantern festivals were in full swing last week. It was freezing for the night walks. Forget the lanterns -- we all should have walked around with portable heaters.

Abby was a lantern princess, of course.

This is what happens when you let Jeremy parent solo for a Saturday.

What. The. Crap.

Be still my bleeding, OCD-ridden, helicopter-parent-loving heart. I am dead certain there are a MILLION things Oliver could have chocked on and died in this lethal pile of inappropriateness. I can't look at this photo anymore.

The Flanagan family gave away over 1,000 pieces of candy on Halloween. They ran out before people stopped coming.

Germans love Pippy Longstocking.

Abby is always the princess.

Oliver was a one-and-a-half-tooth-creeping monster. Who would have thunk it?

Jeremy also had a birthday at the end of last month. He's still younger than me. Sigh. That hurts inside.

Isn't this the best chocolate cake ever? I licked the back of the cake while I was waiting in the car for Jeremy to get ice cream at the grocery store. He was a little offended, but it was just too good. I might also have eaten most of the chocolate bar off the top. Does it count that I paid for it?

Abby and I made new crayons with her old broken crayons. She is obsessed with them.

We took Oliver to get circumcised last month. Apparently, it's inhumane to do it as soon as they are born; it's makes much more sense to do it when they are old enough to remember getting their junk altered. We brought it up with our doctor and he was confident that he "knew a guy." Sounds shady, so we were definitely in.

You have babies show up every 10 minutes starting at 9. They immediately make the kids loopy on some sort of drug, and then take them back to be prepped with one of their parents. They come out at the other end completely asleep with a tube down their throat. Pants? Nowhere to be found. The parents are brought in about 10 minutes before they wake up.

Here's the deal: as soon as the baby wakes up they pull the tube out of their throat and immediately give the baby to the parents so that they don't start screaming and grabbing at the IVs, or, even worse, their new (and hopefully improved) man parts.

Seeing your kid passed out on a recovery room table with tubes in their arms and throat is TRAUMATIZING. I was trying as hard as I could to not pass out when Oliver woke up and they literally pulled the tube out of his mouth as they were passing him to me. NOT a good idea. Um, you almost had two patients on your hands.

For the record, this man shield was not strong enough to fend off the Abby.

The Germans recommended tons of tea soaking. It's their go-to cure for everything. It's this nation's Tiger Balm. I love this photo of Oliver checking out his new digits. You're welcome, Oliver.

The dog box has to be the best investment ever. It's endless fun for kids of all ages. Abby loves to put Ollie inside and then sit in front of the door. She's quite the little helper.

Is it safe to put walnuts in the electrical outlets? Um, let me ask Oliver.

Random pre-church photo shoots.

Wild Women on the Go :)

2011-10-24T12:06:00.012-07:00

Last weekend was epic: I went on a road trip with six of my amazing and hilarious friends from Berlin. I've been to Prague before when Oliver was just six weeks old, but it was a whole new experience not having to stop to breastfeed anyone every half hour. Since I already have a million photos of Prague, I busted out my camera for only a few must-have shots. Enjoy just a taste of our insanity.

Susanne and Jill were such troopers, keeping in mind the other four of us were up WELL past midnight laughing and crying with giddiness into our pillows. Some things never change...

Just put a ring on it!

Delightful sugar and cinnamon toasty rolls.

Babies making out.

I felt a small twinge of guilt when we ate this delightful ham in the middle of the city. Jeremy would have loved it. I know I did!

People come from all over the world to touch this one statue on the St. Charles bridge. It is supposed to bring babies galore to whoever is crazy enough to manhandle it. We all walked as FAR away from that statue as possible. That shipped has sailed. I've got all the bundles of joy I can handle.

Have I mentioned lately that I hate art?

This church had an awesome mummified hand. They chopped it off a robber and hung it up here for all to see. Creepy cats. They also opened up a huge family gravestone in the basement and found someone they had buried alive outside of his coffin and hiding in the corner of the family tomb. He'd tried to claw his way out but just couldn't get through the stone.

I can always find time for some impromptu skating moves.

I actually climbed up the astronomical tower this time. It's nice being in shape again!

Jill and Susanne only got small Coke Zeros.

Guess who got the super large ones?

We even did a ghost tour in the evening. I think I found one to my left....

Where will we fly off to next?

Always on guard.

A serious stair climber.

We Love Poland!

2011-09-25T11:29:00.019-07:00

So here is an insanely long post about our trip to Poland. I put a few sarcastic comments here and there but didn't go to all the trouble of naming all the major tourist attractions.

I have to admit that when I thought of Poland I pictured a lot of dirt and not much else. I knew nothing about it and had no real desire to become an expert on the subject. Everyone around here is pretty excited to go get Polish pottery, but I'm more an Ikea-plastic-plate kind of girl. But since visiting 35 new countries was one of the goals on my "30 goals to finish before I'm 40" list, Poland was an awesome way to cross one of those 35 off the list.

We bought the new car DVDs for the big event, and Ollie got to sit facing forward for the first time.

We didn't buy nearly enough pottery. I guess we'll have to go back.

A large Ikea quilt can make any parking lot into an impromptu play land.

The flower markets were fantastic.

Giving balloons to kids is never a good idea. Eventually, when swinging them harmlessly in the air gets boring, they are going to start hitting each other with them until they pop.

Can't you just feel Oliver's heart dying a little bit as his balloon loses air?

Fried cheese and jelly:

My favorite game -- Settlers of Catan. Seeing this game made me miss my old neighbor in Japan, Josh. We would play board games with him and his wife every single week. It always got a little rowdy and irreverent. Eventually, Josh would get a little tipsy and start playing the game like a renegade - only placing his pieces on the fish square, building roads across the middle of the game so you could only play on one side of the board, and refusing to trade with anyone, EVER. Dang I miss him.

Abby was SO good on this trip. This was the one meltdown she had. It involved taking out her hair, crawling into a ball, and refusing to get up and keep walking.

I met her half way; she could ride on the front of the stroller if I could fix her hair. Looking at us for the rest of the day was optional.

Delicious Polish delights! White raspberries (with small snails hidden in the middle), jelly filled cookies, and perogies.

You and your partner profess your love to each other and then lock it for eternity on the side of the bridge. Next time I'll have to remember to bring a lock.

This is a working nunnery. It was way fun to see them all walking to and from the huge church down the road.

Big thumbs up for Poland!

So Abby and I decided we were going to walk up the large church tower to the lookout point to take pictures. We did not realize that you had to pay when you got to the top. I had left my wallet with Jeremy in the basement, of course, so we walked all the way up and then down without the awesome view payoff. The stairs were insanely tight and steep. I barely fit.

Headless bird sitting in a nest sculpture. What the? I detest art in a serious way.

Abs new passion is blowing bubbles. She's a rock star at it.

Fried cheese in honey with marinated figs.

Balsamic-infused peaches and onions on a tender pork cutlet.

Mad balance talent.

We're so cute they made a statue of us.

I have some deep thoughts about this photo. I'll blog them later.

These was the Poland-version of the Bellagio fountains. They were even set to music. AND it was totally free to watch for the evening.

We were thrilled to see they had a Japanese garden near the fountains. Both Jeremy and I got a little teary walking through it. I can't believe how much I miss Japan. Four years seemed like forever while we were there, but so short now that we're not.

Peter Pumpkin Eater

2011-09-18T04:34:00.006-07:00

Last year I had the best time taking the kids to Klaistow for the pumpkin festival. Jeremy was out of town then, but he was able to come along for the ride this time. The theme this year was Under the Sea, which was not nearly as fun as the Fairy Tales Come Alive theme they had last year. Either way, crap made out of pumpkins is worth the trip into the country.

Hang 10, Dude! Loves this guy has a mohawk. I've been trying to grow one for Ollie but his cowlicks keep messing up the vibe. It's looking a little more Flock of Seagulls than Mr. T.

Free pumpkin-laced Willy!

Oh Abby -- you are much cuter than this dolphin, but I'm willing to bet it is better behaved.

Eat your heart out, Jeff Probst.

I had a giant urge to kick the arm off this giant squid. I have no idea why. It was just one of those days.

Gelato, of course.

Fireworks

2011-09-18T01:54:00.006-07:00

One of the most beautiful things I've seen since moving to Berlin is the Britzer Gardens. We spent an enchanting day there last week. I foresee many afternoons spent romping around these stunning grounds in our near future, especially when the trees start to change colors.

We always manage to find gelato every single place we go. We never say no to it, of course.

Only Abby could get bored of these flowers.

Abby loves to hide behind Oliver's stroller and jump out and say, "COOCOOK." It's the German version of peep-a-boo, which comes out as pretty stinking scary if done without any warning.

Who loves Nutella?

Peek-a-boo turned into hide-and-seek. I rock at that game, if I must say so myself.

Just after I snapped this photo, Abby fell over taking most of these precious flowers with her. Awesome.

I am going to run to the top of this hill before I leave Berlin. It looks small from this angle, but it is pretty massive. I'll be sure to take video of me eating it on the way down.

Ah, love.

Sometimes -- when they aren't whining -- I think how incredibly lucky I am to have such happy, healthy, intelligent, curious, and hilarious babies. It's overwhelming how much I love them. Our world literally revolves around them, as it should be.

I was trying to get their attention by waving at them. Oliver thought that looked like fun and would wave back and yell, "Buh Bye."

My favorite men in the whole wide world. Well, them and Thomas Friedman. Maybe next time he'll come along as well :P

The Plague

2011-09-18T01:28:00.005-07:00

Jeremy made this fantastic pea soup the other day. Yum. But I have to admit that the first things I thought when I heard he was making pea soup was (A) is this the middle ages, and (B) what are the chances I am going to get the plague after choking this down?

The same day Jeremy made the pea soup I had the bright idea to make my own fruit leather.

Never. Ever. Again.

This is what five pounds of fruit (about 45 minutes of peeling said fruit) and two days in the oven equals:

Gracie hates the rain but loves the sun. The sun room offers the best of both worlds.

These next three photos were the best out of the 100 I took that Sunday. In other words, the whole session was a bomb of ginormous proportions.

You can feel Abby defying me to keep clicking. Those eyes are literally ripping my soul apart with their death rays.

My friend was kind enough to buy us this wagon so I can get stuff to and from my car. You better believe Jeremy is going to be pulling me around in this when I get tired.

Runner's World gave me the fantastic idea to "walk" to my next vacation. It's so easy -- all I do is clock how long I run/walk/skip/whatever and then cross off the corresponding number of miles on the country I am currently walking through. I picked Romania. It is 800 miles total to the Bran castle, which is my final destination. Once I've clocked my mileage, I'm going to fly there for the weekend. At this rate, I'll get there sometime in April. So dang fun.

Abby drew this picture of Ollie:

Practicing her letters:

Newsworthy

2011-09-03T11:21:00.007-07:00

Every Sunday the German paper in our neck of the woods features a different church. A few weeks ago they featured our church and they snapped me and my sweet Ollie teaching a lesson about the parable of The Talents. Some of the information they put in the article about our church was wrong, so I'm pretty happy they didn't put my name with my picture!

Abby is a HUGE fan of board games. Some of her favorites are: Memory, Candy Land, and Uno Junior. She's pretty good at losing, unless you are able to find the moon tiles in Memory before she gets a chance to match them. Sweet Mother of Pearl -- she'll rip your face off.

Ollie isn't afraid to show his displeasure at not being able to play at all by ripping the board off the table and eating some of the pieces. It's funny that he won't eat real food but will mow down on wooden display cutouts.

One of these kids is doing their own thing....

Best. Sandwich. Ever.

I love my friend Farida. She is opening her own kindercafe this fall. The winters here are extremely dark and cold, so having a place to take your kids and hang out with other moms is a necessity. She has the insider scoop on all things awesome, so I can't wait to watch her dream turn into a reality.

Abby and Jeremy surprised me with this beautiful bouquet...

Abby is such a stinking crackup. It's impossible to get a normal picture of her these days.

Here are some photos from a birthday party we made a cameo at a few weeks ago.

How does her armpit smell, Ollie?

The Truth is Out!

2011-08-28T12:05:00.006-07:00

The totally disgusting mega spiders have made their way up to the main floor. I've killed three this week alone. This one was hiding behind Ollie's pack and play. No wonder he freaks out every time I put him inside of it.

Look who is creeping around our house these days! I guess the undeniable draw of the shower drain finally motivated him to get off his booty and take a peak. I hope the mystical, magic land of the crusty shower floor was worth it.

My silver, stinky, dirty, shower drain. I've been waiting to find you my whole life. Now get off the floor and into my mouth.

I've got you, Babe.

Here I am dressed and ready for church. In one hand I have my scriptures -- complete with a rocking class I prepared to teach the parable of the sheep and the goats. In the other hand, I have a grey water bottle filled to the brim with water. And by water I mean Coke Zero. So sue me -- I drink Coke Zero during primary. If I didn't, there is a VERY good chance I will scream at the eight lovely children that get to spend the second hour with me. Coke Zero = Christlike. They should put that in the chapter heading for the Word of Wisdom.

I am so happy Abby brings dogs and not caffeine to church on Sundays.

Saturday we had a jam packed day of fun -- two street fairs, an awesome dinner, and a board game marathon with some wicked awesome friends that ended at nearly midnight. What more can you ask for?

Bratwurst with garlic mustard on one side and apple mustard on the other.

Oliver is now the puff master.

Abby wanted to ride this massive horse when she saw it from a distance. She was not down to even stand near it up close.

She didn't even want to ride the plastic horses on the carousel. Because, you know, they are really ninja killer colts.

Here is a terrible picture of me. I'm posting it, because it is a great representation of how I am feeling right now. I've spent the past month gaining and losing the same stinking five pounds over and over and over and OVER again.

I jacked up my leg running, mainly around my hip. It's been about three weeks since I've been able to run and it's been emotionally and physically exhausting. Running is a big stress reliever for me -- a meditation of sorts. It's the time of my day when I count my many blessings, think about where I want to focus my time, work out any problems I'm having, and get my metabolism revved up to handle any delicious, but fattening, crap that finds it's way into my mouth before the end of the day.

Today I went and saw a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, I think. My German is nil and his English wasn't the greatest. Long story short, he moved my leg in a series of inappropriate positions and then gave me a massive horse shot in my leg. I forgot to get a babysitter for Ollie, so he was scooting all over me as I as getting examined. I think I squeezed his poor little hand to pieces when they gave me the injection. It was quite obvious I had a baby, so I was a little shocked the doctor told me -- AFTER the shot -- that I shouldn't breastfeed for 24 hours. WHAT?!?! That child is attached to my chest like velcro.

Maybe the shot will be a twofer -- the miracle for weaning and leg restoration. Here's to hoping.

Of course, none of the above nonsense has anything to do with the fact I didn't wash my hair that day. That is what it is.

On a side note, I totally have my dad's toes -- long, tanned, slightly dirty. Don't you think?

We Got Issues

2011-08-21T12:11:00.008-07:00

We've been having some sleeping issues around our house lately. For the past three months or so, Oliver has started getting up 2-4 times a night and has made five his new rise-and-shine. That wouldn't be the end of the world, but he refuses to nap for more than 20 minutes twice a day. He is taking the lack of sleep like a trooper. I, on the other hand, am a raging, overtired, impatient, ball of exhaustion.

This is a huge improvement from the first eight months -- he would only sleep in the car, stroller, or in my arms. He wanted to breastfeed the WHOLE time he was sleeping, and would scream and scream if I had the audacity to put him in his crib. Now I can put him in his crib awake at bedtime and he conks right out until about 12 when it turns into party time.

Abby was revolutionized by the book: Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby by Marc Weissbluth. She quickly took to the plan and become a well-rested, happy baby by day two. I swear it is the reason she is still an amazing sleeper -- she can pass out anywhere, anytime for 12 hours straight. We tried that method with Oliver and it was a big fat fail.

Tomorrow night we begin the Ferber method. It's a first for us, but I'm super hopeful. Keep your fingers crossed!

We can cross eating off the issues list! Oliver is now pounding puffs like a champion. This week he ate some chunky baby food, a baby cracker, some ice cream, a few Cheerios, and a piece of a mashed banana. He even drank some apple juice from a sippy cup.

My cup runneth over.....

If it's possible to be allergic to mosquitoes then Abby is! She breaks out in horrible rashes around each bite.

This is a day or two after a bite on her face. Her eye is still black and puffy.

Her ankle was so puffy and red that it looked like she fell off her bike. You can only imagine how awesome they looked after she started itching....

It is hard not to spoil my sweet Ollie. We're almost certain he's our last, so I find myself giving him just one more of everything. I can get up with him one more night. I can nurse him just one more month. I can puree his baby food for one extra minute because that's his favorite texture. I can run with him in the stroller if he likes to sleep while moving.

As my mother-in-law would say, "you have to stop letting him drive the bus."

But then he bats those long lashes and stares me down with those big brown eyes....

and I can't say no. I just can't. Good thing dad's home. I'm a sucker.

The Loot

2011-08-21T12:08:00.003-07:00

Germany has u-pick farms everywhere. I've become obsessed with them. We scored some major loot at this little ditty outside of Potsdam.

About eight scratches in, Abby was not down with helping pick the raspberries. In turn, she stayed near the top of the patch and scowled at Oliver and his plethora of toys.

I'm a huge fan of pears.

Normally, Oliver squishing freshly, picked berries all over his new clothes would have made me insane, but I had other concerns at that moment. We found an awesome patch with lush, delicious berries that everyone else had overlooked. It turns out we were right beside the bee houses, as seen by the massive amount of bees that began to swirl around us as we crashed their secret stash of berries. No wonder the bee keeper looked at us like we were crazy. I'm sure he told me in German. But, you know, I don't speak that language.

Jeremy makes the most fantastic mixed berry ice cream. It's totally worth picking berries near a beehive. Almost.

Classic

2011-08-18T00:58:00.002-07:00

My friend posted this on her Facebook page two days ago and I'm still laughing about it.

Classic.

Oliver is One!

2011-08-01T11:39:00.007-07:00

I really had no idea what theme I should have for Oliver's birthday. His favorite thing in the whole world is me, but I thought it might be a bit haughty to make a cake of myself for his big day. Instead, we went with a helmeted dinosaur theme. It was a big hit!

My adorable Oliver. I can't believe how much I love this sweet baby. He literally steals my heart with every smile, every giggle, and every slobbery kiss.

I am still shocked at how blessed we are to have two healthy, curious, and beautiful children. The joy they bring me is indescribable. Every day I am grateful we were given these two choice Spirits to raise and nurture. I am the luckiest.

Since Oliver won't eat anything but baby food, there was no stinking way he was going to eat any cake. I thought we could trick him into eating ice cream and frosting, but he threw a serious no on that as well.

Blue frosting = blue tongues

Abby was in charge of opening all the presents. She was kind enough to test each and every one to make sure they were safe for Oliver to play with. Anything deemed too "dangerous" was quickly placed in her room for future inspection. What a good big sister.

Happy birthday, Ollie!

Better Than Harry Potter Part Two

2011-07-25T10:07:00.004-07:00

This is what happened to the "Welcome Home, Daddy" sign we had been working on for the past few days....

And this is what happened to the clean house the day he arrived...

Even though the sign and house were a little bit trashed, we all jazzed ourselves up to go and meet him!

We were THRILLED to see him through the glass where he was waiting for his luggage. Abby tried to jump the gate and pry her way through the exit doors. The guard was screaming at her to go back, but she was mad determined to get to her daddy. Seconds later, she made the gigantic run and jumped into his arms. Oliver was okay with daddy hugs from the start, which is almost a miracle.

He even let Jeremy hold him long enough so I could have an afternoon nap. Ah, heaven.

Abby wouldn't let Jeremy out of her sight the first few days. She was terrified he was going to slip away again and not come back. Not. Going. To. Happen. At least not this year.

It's wonderful/weird to have the hubs back. I keep waking up in the night and wondering for a split second who the stink is under the sheets beside me. I also wonder who keeps leaving piles of man stuff everywhere. And why I keep falling into the toilet. But then I smell the most fantastic food coming from my kitchen and remember it's the man I love.

He was worth it all :)

Acting Like Animals

2011-07-13T04:16:00.004-07:00

I'm using my zoo/aquarium pass like a mad fool. It's the perfect way to spend an afternoon with the kids, especially when the weather doesn't look the greatest.

I almost didn't bring my camera, but I was super glad I did when Shawna got crapped on by some random bird. I guess she doesn't need a souvenir!

Oliver had been screaming at me all morning long.

ALL. MORNING. LONG.

I seriously was at the end of my rope. Shawna was kind enough to walk him in the stroller far in front of me until he passed out. I really love Oliver to pieces, but his screaming can send me right to the edge sometimes. It's so nice to have someone around to pitch hit for me on bad days.

He was back to his chipper, lovely self after his super long nap.

Sweet Abby gets hit in the face by his smacking arm quite a few times every day. She is so patient and understanding with him. She deserves a medal.

Instead she got to spend time on this time out stump for failing to heed my rules on leaving the playground without asking my permission. Rules are rules, even at the zoo!

Dunkin Donuts = chocolate overload = naptime. Awesome.

Crazy Eyes

2011-07-11T12:03:00.006-07:00

It was raining, again, so we headed downtown to a museum. WAY fun. Abby dug the pirate room.

Oliver made a few masterpieces while we waited for her to locate some treasure.

You can almost feel the jealous vibes from Oliver shooting these boys off their magic carpets. The blocks weren't nearly half as exciting, even after Oliver licked each and every one. The boy with the helmet doesn't get a ride; oh, the irony is heartbreaking.

Isn't he a cute Aladdin?

All he needs is a harem of women to complete the look.

This room was a hodgepodge of village markets/wooden houses/reading nook/random horse. I didn't get it. I guess you have to be a kid to read between the lines on this one.

Antje and Shawna joined in the fun.

Oliver was none to pleased to see another kid in the magical forest.

Abby created her own horse while she waited for a ride on the real one. That horse has crazy eyes. I'm a bit surprised it gets ridden at all. You can almost hear it screaming, "Get this kid off of me."

Clearly, Abs had the time of her life.

A Berry Good Time

2011-07-10T06:15:00.005-07:00

We went berry picking this week about 45 minutes outside of Berlin. The weather was fantastic and the loot was awesome.

I think Abs was 10 times more excited to have this box than to pick the berries. She walked up and down the aisles forever just looking at it. I'm sure she was contemplating how to create a more efficient box for the next time we come.

I'm not going to lie, the kids baskets were full of green, purple, and half eaten blueberries. I spent a good portion of the day dumping out their baskets when they weren't looking and refilling them without drawing attention to my master plan. It was exhausting, but serious fun.

Oliver had a reaction to his MMR shot that he got last week and was rocking fever of 103.5 the night before this adventure. This continued for a few days -- fine during the day and running a temp at night. Can't you tell that he was thrilled to be living it up at the berry patch with us?

Please don't notice that I am taking out two of your berries for every one you put in!

BLUEberries. Only the blue ones.

Oliver was so patient with us. I had to keep ditching him at the side of each row to help the other kids. He is such a delight.

Oh Canada

2011-07-10T06:03:00.001-07:00

I stole this from Shawna's blog. I love when I make cameos in the blogosphere. I'm a big fan of keeping the Canadian spirit alive!

Denise, my Berlin Bestie, is actually (gasp) a Canadian...puck-sucking, meese humping, Mountie smooching, maple lover. And today is Canada Day.

We sang the Canadian national anthem (and by "we", I mean "I sang the first two lines, which are the only ones I know, whilst Denise warbled the whole thing") made traditional maple cookies and Baby Oliver made sure his mama got enough of the yummy sweet stuff.

Happy Canada Day, all you Canucks!

Where We're At

2011-07-05T11:20:00.008-07:00

I love when I come home at night to find the babysitter has taken a few snapshots of Abby throughout the night. I will title this one "The Scent of Tom Foolery":

I spent Fourth of July with the Flanagan family. We joke all the time that I'm his second wife, since I am there nearly every day up in his business. This photo just adds to that drama. We both have hands on our shoulders -- which hand is his? Where did the other hand come from? Why does he look so dang happy? We need a reality show.

Denise, the golly green giant.

Abby's kita is closed for a three week vacation. I filled our schedule with plenty of day trips and crafts to keep us both sane during this time. It's hard deviating from my regimented weekly plan, but I'm learning to be flexible and attempting to not spend my days worrying about the house, or what needs to be done, or what I forgot to do.

I am in the process of trying to get Oliver to eat anything other than baby food. He gags on anything for babies older than four or six months. He won't eat any baby crackers, toasts, treats, cookies, etc. Gosh forbid I try to mash any bananas or vegetables with my fork and let him have a bite. Basically, he won't eat anything that isn't nearly liquid. There has been a lot of choking and vomiting on this side of the world. In his defense, he turns one in two weeks and he doesn't have a single tooth to help a brother out.

Being the crazy helicopter parent that I am, I hijacked my one-year doctor's appointment to have his gag reflex checked and his gums looked at. The doctor's advice was for me to calm down and let him eat whatever he wants to eat. I just hate having to remember to pack baby food all the time. It would be nice to just be able to feed him off my plate and cut out all the extra steps in between.

I am so happy for Jeremy to come home and train this dog. She is making the neighbors -- and I -- crazy with her renegade barking and fence stalking.

Abby is so clever. We went to a baseball game a few weeks ago, and in the short time it took to get the blanket out of the stroller, put Oliver on it, and turn around, Abby had disappeared. I found her about 15 feet away at the concession stand waiting for her hot dog, grape soda, and sour strings that she so independently ordered. She had paid the lady with money she had taken from my purse when we got there -- "I took the big bills, Mommy." You've got to be kidding me! This girl is three going on 30.

Abby taught Oliver to stick his tongue out, which he spends about 90% of his day doing. It reminds me of those little dogs that can't close their mouth. Yup, I get licked a lot.

Is it sandbox pouting time already?

Super Saturday!

2011-06-19T11:26:00.006-07:00

It is amazing to me that the second child in a family survives. I tell Abby not to pick up Oliver about 10 times a day; yet, I regularly find him in mid-air screaming his way down to a helmet smash. I'm sorry, buddy.

This photo reminds me of my cousin Laura for some reason.

My first stop on Saturday was to Abby's kita sommerfest. I was in charge of the jump house with my friend Inga. This was awesome considering I don't speak German. When push came to shove, I relied on a sweet phrase that Abby taught me -- go away. It works to get kids back into line, to stop them from hitting each other, and to get them to leave the bounce house. I said it with a smile, of course :)

I love this photo of Abby's renegade bangs and pizza sauce mouth.

I finished off the day at Rachel's bridal shower. We co-teach our primary class at church and she's a regular fixture at our Girls Night Out events. I'm a big fan that she never complains that I always forget to bring my scriptures to class and that I spend nearly the whole class breastfeeding Oliver instead of teaching.

I am thrilled that she found the love of her life and is bringing him to this side of the world to live. He's a total stud muffin.

I never leave Susanne's house without gaining a pound or two. Everyone should have a friend with mad baking skills. I am super sad I got photos of her food but none of her.

Rachel looked hot in the candy bra I got her. Calories don't count on your wedding night ;P

Cover your eyes, Oliver!

The Magic Show

2011-06-19T11:17:00.005-07:00

When Jeremy said that he was deploying to Africa for six months I was mad jealous. I heart Africa in a serious way, especially Kenya. Someday we hope to do a hardship tour there -- someday as in when the kids stop eating things off the ground. We know quite a few people that have served there -- Nambia, South Africa, Kenya, Congo, Nigeria, Uganda, Senegal, Ghana, Botswana, etc. They have nothing but fantastic things to say about their experiences. I covet them and their mad awesome adventures.

Until then, I was thrilled to find these precious gifts arrive in the mail from my man. He never fails to please.

Oliver spends his days crawling around after Gracie. He is obsessed with poking her eyes, pulling her ears, sticking his hands in her mouth, and "brushing" her fur. Gracie is such a doll and rewards him plenty of licks and cuddles. We couldn't have found a more attentive/loving companion for the kiddos.

I totally caught Abby red handed (or should I say green mouthed) in the fun dip, which she promised she would not take from my drawer. I had her look in the mirror and tell me she did not eat the fun dip. Instead, she made this face and exclaimed, "Mom, it was magic."

This magic trick is brought to you by the time out chair. Enjoy the show.

Speaking of magic, Oliver showed off his fancy pants by peeing out his diaper and all over Shawna. He was pretty smug out it.

Oliver loves to watch TV. Abby loves to taunt him by watching it in bed so that he can't see/touch the screen. He responds by laying underneath the bed and screaming louder than the TV. I have no idea which is more annoying.

I'm sure she is thinking.... I have no idea how the TV got in my bed so Oliver can't watch it. It must have been magic.

I'm still not buying it.

Happy Anniversary!

2011-06-04T06:22:00.012-07:00

It was one year ago that we moved to Germany from Japan. Although we miss Japan terribly, we love our new host country. One of my favorite things, by far, is having my own fenced-in yard with fruit trees. Someday I'll learn how to preserve/can/bake.

I had no idea this was a cherry tree until Abby pointed it out. The neighbor beside us has a HUGE one, and I've been so busy shoving my face with its goodness that I overlooked our tree.

We also had (notice the past tense) awesome strawberry plants. Abby's friend climbed to the top of this wall and slid down yesterday. Goodbye cute plants and yummy fruit :(

This is after I met up with some of my awesome friends for an Ikea dinner celebration. I scarcely post pictures of myself on this blog, so enjoy this rare gem.

Nothing beats a rainy day like painting in the bathtub -- over two hours wasted. Oliver was more than content to play with whatever Abby was kind enough to throw overboard. I lounged on the floor in my pajamas reading a book. Fun day had by all (except the house cleaner!)

Lesley was kind enough to come and babysit Abby while I went to Ikea. I love seeing the results of all their adventures on the carport.

My book club ladies! We decided to do a discussion over dinner for the last meeting of the season. I am so happy that the four of us are diligent at both reading the book and attending the meetings. You have no idea how often one of those important components are missing!

I heart thin crust pizza. It's divine.

Isn't Abby the BEST dancer ever? So. Stinking. Cute.

I'm That Parent

2011-06-04T06:19:00.015-07:00

I have multitasking down to a science. I got double the dose of the organizing (some might say anal) gene then most people in this world. I am charitable and loyal and determined. I am a lot of great and noteworthy things. But of all the wonderful character traits that I've cultivated in the 32 years I've been alive, patience is not one of them. This trait is missing. Absent. Nearly unheard of in my world.

Sweet Oliver's neck was jacked up when he was born ( by c-section) and was only able to turn his head to the right. Since he only looked one way, his neck muscles and back muscles were pretty underdeveloped and started causing him some serious issues at around three months. At that point, his problems began to steamroll -- because he only looked one way his head shape was distorted and he needed a helmet, he couldn't play on his tummy because he couldn't lift up his head, he only minimally used the right side of his body because it was literally out-of-sight-out-of-mind, etc.

Mentally he was right on target, so it was frustrating for him to see things he wanted and not be able to even roll over to get them. This might make me a total loser, but it was disheartening for me to see other kids younger than him crawling over top of my beautiful boy while he just laid there in one spot watching them. Until about a month ago, I had to lay him in the grocery cart because I couldn't put him in the sitting seat. He had to eat from his Bumbo instead of a real highchair. I had to hold him in the sitting position so he could play with big boy toys. When I was unavailable to help him he would just holler in frustration.

And, let's be honest, he had no way to fend himself from the Abster! He was literally living and breathing at her mercy.

I was aggressive in getting him first, second, and third opinions. I drilled the therapists on techniques and did tons of research on alternative therapies. I NEVER left their office without assigning myself homework.

I know I drove them crazy. I drove Oliver crazy. I drove myself crazy. I even drove Jeremy crazy over the phone fussing about it.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I think I have learned much more than Oliver has over these past seven months. I've learned that we all do things at our own pace and the only person we have control over is ourselves. Sometimes the best thing we can do as parents is to back off and let our kids figure things out on their own. I wanted to swoop in and rescue him at the first sign of distress or discomfort. My final therapist taught me the best lesson of all: you aren't progressing if you aren't struggling.

We have now been able to drop two of his therapy appointments and he just has one therapy session every Wed for 1.5 hours. It looks like his helmet will be on a few more months than we anticipated, but his head is already looking fantastic. He can now sit up on his own for 30 seconds at a time and he has just started attempting a pretty good crawl this week. He obviously can't pull himself up yet, but we'll (I mean he'll - old habits die hard) get there eventually.

In the picture I took yesterday (below), Oliver is 10.5 months old. And dare I say that a sitting Oliver is seriously gush worthy....

Check out his sweet moves. Notice he still favors the left side of his body more. We're still working on it. Ignore my dog checking out his sweet moves. That dog thinks she needs to be in every video :(

The Babes

2011-05-31T06:01:00.010-07:00

More random photos for all to enjoy. Abby got this sticker/puzzle ditty from my mom. Apparently, she not was thrilled with these scandalous princesses and showed her disgust by veiling their faces with these sweet fans. Ugh. Cover up, Ladies!

Twizzlers can solve any problem in my house.

This is how real princesses should look!

I can't get enough of this kid. I hate to say this, but I actually might miss that big, stinking helmet when the summer is over. It totally suits his personality -- just a little bit zany.

Yes, my sweet man plays with dolls. What's it to ya?

Ugh. Be still my soul.

Horns vs. Helmets

2011-05-31T05:56:00.011-07:00

I have a new German friend named Inga. She is amazing at tracking down super fun things to do while our husbands are away. Our kids are nearly the same age and go to the same kita. We also live about a five minute walk from each other. She is simply delightful.

I have always loved getting to know people in our host countries. Some of my greatest friendships in Japan were with the wonderful ladies that spent their free time showing me all their favorite places -- shopping, site seeing, restaurants, etc. I also loved getting to spend time at their houses and getting to know their families. There is always a language barrier, which makes things somewhat awkward at times, but learning to serve and care for another person only requires a loving heart and an open mind. And, of course, a great sense of humor and mad skills at Charades.

One of the great places Inga tracked down was an amusement park/zoo/swimming hole about 45 minutes outside Berlin. I loved it so much I took some of my American friends to check out a few days later. Here is a combination blog about those trips:

Abby was pretty terrified of this animal at first. It didn't help that I was also a little terrified :)

I love to swim and so does Abby. She is fearless, which freaks me out to no end. I can't stand near the water without being in it. I was a lifeguard for many years, and I've never been able to turn off that Baywatch instinct to scan the water around me for any signs of potential danger.

I'm not supposed to get Oliver's helmet wet so he got to hang out in my arms. I tried dangling his feet in the water but he would just lift them up and scream like a girl. He will not be a lifeguard.

The deer here are not afraid to get up in your business. This deer's horns have nothing on Oliver's helmet. I was waiting for Oliver to knock his socks off.

Inga and Abby rocked the zipline. Abby begged me to let her go alone. Um. No.

Abby spent about 15 minutes playing trick or treat at this playground window. She was giving out candy AND money so I was all over it.

My friend Kristen and I got pretty into the show Meerkat Manor. That's probably embarrassing to admit for some people but I'm pretty okay with being a serious dork. Embarrassing would be admitting that I cried nearly every episode, so I won't do that. In my defense, should that be the something I did admit, a meerkat died in nearly every episode. The sad part is, Kristen and I would discuss the show like the meerkats were really our friends and "did I hear the latest meerkat gossip." Seriously, there have been more than a few days where I've thought I really need to start working again.

They had a pile of American animals at their zoo, like this raccoon. This is no raccoon that I've ever seen. It's more like an anteater/dog. I think I would crap my pants if this was in my garbage. I did not give it any pasta or bread.

Oliver liked the wagon. He did not like being in the wagon with anyone else. Go figure.

Random dinosaur park. Enough said.

Round two -- horns versus helmet. Now taking bets.

Sweet Mother of Pearl

2011-05-17T09:09:00.002-07:00

Yesterday I came across some old photos I forgot to blog. I've spent so much time keeping up with the private blog for Jeremy that I've totally neglected this one. Goodness knows I don't want anyone to forget about Miss. I'm-the-mom Robertson....

Or Mr. Do-what-I-say-or-I'll-scream-until-I-puke Robertson. Abs put this backpack on Ollie while I was in the bathroom. Strangely, it took me a while to notice that he had it on. It takes a lot to get my attention these days.

I attempted to get some Mother's Day pictures for Jeremy. Sweet Mother of Pearl -- mother day meltdown. I don't think I'll attempt a photo shoot by myself again.

Never. Ever. Again.

Oliver has a serious case of "old man pants" in these photos. Dislike.

Gracie got closer to the kids in each photo I took, which would have been great had she not made it a point to eat all the flowers, lick their faces, or lay on her side and pretend she's swimming.

Notice her butt is knocking over the tulips on her second lap of side stroke. Deep breaths, Mom!

These are some of my favorite people in the whole world. I got to celebrate Mother's Day with them (and almost every other holiday).

And not just because they feed me until I'm too tired to walk home.

I couldn't help but put a few outtakes of Gracie eating the grass while Abby gives her best "mom eyes" impression.

And this photo of Abby helping Oliver keep his eyes on the prize. Clearly, Abs works hard for her money.

A Long Farewell

2011-05-06T01:35:00.005-07:00

I’ve been dreading writing this blog for about a month and a half now. I’ve uploaded all the pictures about 10 times and then deleted them completely out of my archive. I’ve put off writing a ton of other blogs because I knew that I had to finish this one first.

It’s with heartbreaking sadness I let you all know; sweet Beth is no longer with us.

Ugh. I’m one paragraph in and sobbing already.

It was only about four years ago that we wanted to find a sister for Gracie. We searched high and low and just couldn’t find the perfect pooch – until we stumbled across Beth. She was so excited to see us walk in and nearly clawed her way out of her cage. The minute they put her in my arms I knew we weren’t leaving that store without her.

We also knew that she had some problems. She came with a stomach rash and a broken tail. We tried to ask the store clerk what was wrong with her, but they just offered us a discount (she was still about $1200!) and gave us a big smile. So off we went with our slightly damaged discount dog.

Instantly she bonded with Gracie. They chased each other all day long – barking and rough housing and getting into all sorts of mischief. They were the perfect children, and completed our family for those first few years.

When she was about two years old we tried to get her neutered but her blood tests came back with super irregular results. It was apparent that she had problems with her kidneys. She had showed other signs of being sick, but those problems were somewhat easy to fix and masked the larger issue. She took a turn for the worse right before we left Japan. It was on a hope and a prayer that we finally got her cleared to come with us. Although, I think they realized there was NO way I was leaving that island without her. Even then, the specialist said that she only had about six good months left in her.

So she came with us to Germany. We found her a great vet that was diligent in her research of congenital kidney failure and its current treatments.

Beth was pretty stable until Nov, and then ran into some problems: bleeding in the intestines, open sores from toxins being absorbed in the skin, ear infections, not being able to absorb food and losing a ton of weight, a horrific odor followed her everywhere, etc. She was on at least seven medications those last few weeks, including a weekly B12 injection that I had to take her to the vet to get. She needed to be on a special diet of horsemeat and cooked potatoes, which she needed three times a day. It was costing an insane amount of money (around $500-$800) a month. But more than that, all that effort was just barely keeping up with her mounting problems.

A few days before she died, she had a severe allergic reaction to her most recent medication. Her ears were literally bleeding from her scratching them and they were seeping everywhere. I had to call in some a friend and her husband (one to watch the kids and one to come and help me translate). You could tell Beth was in a lot of pain but was still so happy to be going for a car ride. It was a LONG night and we ended up going home with more medicine, a cone so she couldn’t scratch, and another appointment with our regular vet the next day.

The vet made it clear that our next course of action would be daily dialysis, which just wasn’t realistic for me to do without the support of Jeremy here. It would involve me bringing the kids to the vet for two hours every day while Beth got her blood cleared. Not to mention how much pain would be inflicted on her daily and how stressful that might be for her.So we made the decision to put her down the next day.

I was so grateful that everyone came together to help me that day. My friend Shawna came over to watch Oliver (Abby was at school) so that I could spend some time with Beth in the park walking and playing. Vivien came with me to the vet, while Susanne ran in the stroller with Ollie. Not to mention, so many people heard what was happening and called to offer a hand and give their support.

Beth was such a trooper and wagged her tail all the way to the vet. I was present the whole time and was able to feed her treats from the moment we got there. It must have seemed to her that she was already in heaven. I lined up with her nose to nose and talked and smiled with her during the procedure. The end came very fast – one minute she was there listening to me tell her how wonderful she was and how much we loved her, and then she was gone.

After four years she was finally at peace -- no more pain, no more medicines, no more uncertainty. Amazing for her, but simply heartbreaking for us.

I’m going to miss that sweet spirit.

It not quite the same at feeding time – I’m still waiting to see her coming hopping around the corner like a bunny. I miss how honestly shocked she looked every time she woke up and saw one of the kids. It’s almost like she was thinking “what is that and when did it come here?” I miss how only half her tail wagged because the bottom half never healed from the break.

I miss everything.

Poor Gracie spent the first few days sitting in her box outside and sleeping in front of the door just in case she came back.

Poor Abby was seriously confused on why Dad could come home but Beth couldn’t since they were both away and we couldn’t see them. Just for the record, April was the WORST possible month for all this to happen, because Easter came and I had to deal with trying to explain why Jesus died and came back but Beth couldn’t die and come back. Not to mention, she came down with a terrible ear infection and ran a fever of 102.5 for three days. Then we got to talk about how Beth got sick and died but Abby is sick and won’t die. Ugh. Now everyone seems to be back to normal, for the most part, considering.

The whole neighborhood was lit up in these beautiful vibrant yellow flowers the weekend after Beth died. It was so wonderful to see them and remember her.

I brought a nice present and card to the vet, who had become my friend after so many visits.

Beth was a great comfort to me, an amazing dog, and a much loved member of our family. I look forward to seeing her again in the eternities. Goodness knows, she’ll probably still have that broken tail.

My Friends Came Back

2011-05-05T11:16:00.005-07:00

About a year ago, I went out to dinner with some of my ladies and we were discussing the insanity of having windows without screens. I mentioned that I have been finding tarantula-like spiders in my house. They are big, hairy, have huge solid bums, black as night, and can run incredibly fast. Nope, they didn't seem to have any idea what I was talking about. We had a ton of them -- I was killing more than one a day for weeks. Finally, either they got smart enough to stay away from me or I killed them all.

But, alas, they returned. This is just a "baby" one that I captured behind my treadmill yesterday. I hope they don't crawl on my face while I sleep. Ugh.

Loves for Dad

2011-05-01T10:26:00.003-07:00

This was for the vegetable lasagna.

This was the mushroom, chicken, and onion burritos.

Abby's favorite part was putting the lime on it.

Oliver's first real snack.

Abby's favorite spot to sit.

Gracie waiting patiently for something to fall.

The stare down.

The Longest Blog Ever

2011-04-25T11:42:00.009-07:00

This blog sums up my entire Easter weekend. I could have made it a few short blogs instead of one long one, but I didn't because I'm lazy. Sorry for wasting 15 minutes of your life you can never get back :P

Gracie was kind enough to eat Abby's dyed Easter eggs while we were out running errands on Thursday. Better the eggs than the Easter bunny!

Abs was less than thrilled.

We spent the first day doing a "Flat Stanley" project for Shawna's nephew. For those of you who don't know, Flat Stanley is a fictional character from a book that ends up getting squished and travels around the world in people's suitcases when they go on vacation. I guess students in the States are sending their own Flat Stanleys out to friends who live in fun places to take pictures of him doing exciting things. Basically, Shawna and I used this as an excuse to go downtown and eat some good food!

Look at Oliver holding up his huge Megamind head. What a champ! By the way, I have started telling people that Oliver's brain is so powerful he needs to wear this mind shield to contain its massive energy. He's like a superhero, without the ability to sit on his own or stay on his tummy for long periods of time. Super smart people have no need for those sissy skills!

This is Flat Stanley.

Saturday we did some service and then headed off to the zoo. I drove around for 30 minutes looking for a parking spot. The kiddos fell asleep right as I found one, of course!

Monkeys watching monkeys.

Abby is missing her dad, but luckily my sister/wife Shawna let us borrow her husband. He even traded his awesome currywurst for Abby's super lame hot dog. Clearly, she loved it so much she washed her face in it.

The Knut memorial was a little out of control. This was just a small part of it.

You can just guess what happened next...

Sunday we got up nice and early to take Easter photos.

After church we headed off to have a BBQ with one of our favorite German families. They are SO much fun. There are eight children in this family. Yup, not a typo -- EIGHT. It is always a ton of fun to spend time at their house, and they all crack me up. Loves it!

Abs dress was totally covered in crap when we got home. I don't think it will be making a repeat appearance next Easter.

Easter marked the 1/2 way point in Jeremy's deployment. Only 100 more days until he returns. What was that sound you ask? That was me barfing in my mouth a little bit.

Today we headed off to an Easter extravaganza at Dahlem Domain, which is an organic farm near my house. This is my friend Mandi and her sweet twins, Leo and Alex. They are adorable. I love their little English accents. Totally Harry Potter goodness. It breaks my heart that they are leaving this summer :(

Jamie Oliver would have been disgusted at our attempt to guess what vegetables were planted in all the different sections of the farm. Not a single one of us could figure it out. It only got worse when I attempted to have the kids take photos in the "grass," which turned out to be wheat. let's just say the workers had a lot of choice words for us that probably weren't organic.

Abs and I rocked out on the swings. I am the one with my arms failing out to the side. We probably should have done the swings before we gorged ourselves on bratwurst. Live and learn, I guess.

HAPPY EASTER!

I'm 32!

2011-04-18T00:27:00.009-07:00

Here I am in all my 32 years of glory! I'm sure you can all tell that I've been literally running my butt off and have lost 13 pounds already :P I've started back with Weight Watchers and I wear my running shoes everywhere so I can "take it up a notch" when I'm pushing Oliver around. I was able to log four miles before I knew it yesterday! My goal is to return to my pre-Oliver weight (175) before Jeremy returns home. Let's all pray for a miracle :)

It's been beautiful here, and the kids and I have made it a goal to find/try every playground within a 1-mile radius of our house before the month is over. It's awesome to be out and about during that 5 o'clock meltdown hour. Abby is so exhausted when we finally get home that she eats and goes right to bed.

Best. Idea. Ever.

Abby and I got some gelato for my birthday treat. She was kind enough to eat her cone and half of mine.

Then we went off to a spring festival at my friend's kita. Only in Germany would they have a crossbow and archery station for kids under the age of 10.

Abby was not down with this fake Native American. My dream catcher skills are so much better than his.

One little, two little, three little....

Don't these woods remind you of WWII movies? I always expect to see people running through them with soldiers following behind.

My friend made me this awesome angel food cake. Delicious.

Another friend made me lime cupcakes with mango frosting. I ate four of them!

They hang Easter eggs on trees over here. They are so beautiful to look at.

Got to love the cheesy decorations I got for Abby. She loves to run and hit this when she passes by. They will probably not be around much longer.

Abby loved decorating eggs. Holidays with kids are so much fun.

Isn't she talented? It only took Gracie two days to realize that there were eggs inside these beautiful shells and she ate them while we were at church. She's real helpful like that.

My wife is awesome!

2011-04-16T00:40:00.003-07:00

Jeremy here, blogger hacker from Africa, and just in case you didn't know...

TODAY IS DENISE'S BIRTHDAY!!!

I know most people get Birthday info from Facebook, but just in case you didn't know, today is the day.

Once again, and I'm fairly certain this has happened almost every year we've been married, Denise is spending her Birthday without me. Somehow my job seems to keep me away on all of the mom/wife holidays; Birthday, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, etc. It may be a conspiracy, but I like to think it's just dumb luck. Thankfully we've always had great friends, wherever we've lived, that have taken good care of my family when I'm away and hopefully today is no different.

I will forever be grateful that the stars came into alignment for Denise and I to meet; I can't imagine my life without her, and as my mother often tells me "It's a good thing you found her, because I'm not sure any other woman would put up with you." Mom says she prayed Denise into my life and I couldn't be happier (neither could mom... in fact, I'm pretty sure likes Denise more than she likes me!).

Denise, we all love you, we're grateful for everything you do for our family, and I can't wait to see you again!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Painful Steps

2011-04-07T04:53:00.006-07:00

I've been really trying to lose weight for the past two months, so my friend and I decided we would kick it into high gear and start taking walks and playing outside with our kids instead of sitting on the couch and eating mindlessly. We've both lost some weight and had fun adventures out in the wild with the kiddos.

A few Sunday's ago we thought we would take the kids to the forest to ride bikes and explore. Abby had fun for about 10 minutes. It's hard to explain to a three-year-old that sitting on a bench does not make you The Biggest Loser.

Since Abby was too tired to ride her bike, I got to carry her bike and drag her along.

We picked up some extra kids along the way. Everyone likes to hang out with us.

Sunday is all about playing with your dog at the lake.

The kids felt the need to "test the water," of course.

Listen to the joys of children cancelling out the joys of nature....

Professional Fun

2011-04-07T04:47:00.008-07:00

I usually try to stay out of the photos I put on the blog, but today I just couldn't help but get my greasy mug all up in your business.

I totally believe in the creation, but I will say that when you get a group of moms together we all look like monkeys grooming our kids -- wiping snot off their faces, digging in their noses and ears, picking crud off their clothes. I could even see me hitting my chest in the face of Abby's defiance. Don't even get me started on my hairy bod. I'm totally half monkey!

Could my kids look more like Jeremy? If I didn't have them, I would totally be asking questions.

It's seriously hard to get a good photo. Oliver is trying to pull Abby's hair....

... or Abby is picking her nose ...

... or someone needs to be tickled to keep them from whining.

But, eventually, we get one that's sort of okay.

My dear sweet Oliver loves me more than life itself. He only wants to nap while I breastfeed him or I push him in the stroller. He loves to sleep in his crib at night, but will scream until he pukes if I even THINK of putting him in there during the day. He had a good five day stretch of going in no problem, but those dreamy days are over. Needless to say, I've stopped trying. He only lets me hold him (just like Abby!), and if I ever need to leave him with someone to go to an appointment -- HOW DARE I?!?!? -- he will scream bloody murder for hours until I return. It's exhausting being his mom, but I can't help but love that little stinker to pieces.

This is what Abby looked like in the morning of her school pictures. Her teachers let me know that she ripped out her hair, stained her shirt, and threw her flower away shortly after I left. They also let me know that not only did she refuse to smile in her picture, but she scowled at the photographer and held her hands in front of her face. Somehow I knew this was going to happen and had my own photo shoot as soon as I got her ready.

I love her "deep" look.

Abby makes me proud every single day. She is so smart, so fun, and so joyful. She is totally a daddy's girl and lives for their nightly Skype chats! I love three-years-old (so much more than two).

I stole this from my friend's page. I just LOVE it. Oliver is totally looking at my friend like, "Don't you think of touching me. This could have been a good photo, but then you got in it. I am five seconds from shoving this napkin in your mouth and getting my mom back all to myself. Just keep smiling, Punk."

Clearly, being in the exersaucer is just not fun enough!

Notes and Pictures from Djibouti

2011-03-24T12:48:00.007-07:00

Jeremy was kind enough to send some photos and notes from Djibouti. Here is what we're missing:

How the other half lives (The Kempinski restaurant/pool). OK, its not really the other half... more like the other .5 %.

The "city" where we ate lunch.

Road trip, Ethiopian style; they don't like it when you take pictures so I had to be sneaky.

This is the president of Djibouti's "Country House." He's up for election in a few weeks and lots of the people here aren't really excited about the idea of him being president again. He's already had two terms and he had the constitution changed so that he could run for a third term.

Djibouti

is one of those places where the president's family owns pretty much everything in the country.

These are some of our friends we saw while driving out to the border; they like to eat bananas (and pretty much anything you'll give them) but don't make them mad!

This is the local pass time for the vast majority of people in this country; Khat. Khat is a hallucinogenic drug that they grow in Yemen and

Ethiopia

and they chew in Djibouti, Somalia, and I believe Kenya. The ENTIRE male population chews Khat every day from about 12-4 and the place just closes down during those hours. The little green bunches of leaves you see in the picture are Khat.

This is a picture of the ocean; this is also about an hour outside the city.

These are some houses off the side of the road; this is about an hour outside the city.

Things on my Mind

2011-03-16T04:07:00.015-07:00

What's been running through my mind the past two weeks? Obviously, all things Japan. Every now and then other things crept in as well. Here are some of them.....

Abby was dead certain that she colored this picture, even though it has Linus' name on the top. She regularly steals other kids work and claims it as her own. I'd give this burglarized artwork a B-.

You know that Abby takes after me when she flips over her coloring sheet and makes "lists" of things she needs to do on the back of her paper. It was really fun having her talk about what she drew and how it made her feel. I love that she has a can-do spirit about her -- always jamming her day full of things she wants to accomplish. Mad props for her organization!

Abby's new morning passion is a glass of milk and a nutella sandwich. Not the healthiest, but totally enjoyable. That being said, isn't a nutella sandwich just a white trash version of a chocolate croissant? Would I be classing-it-up by taking the crusts off?

Oliver had another doctor's appointment the other day. As we were waiting, a young mom came in with a baby (about 1.5) with a this-can't-even-be-real-it's-so-huge goose egg sticking out of her head. I don't speak German, but what I got out of the conversation was that the child got hurt at her kita and the lady brought her in to be looked at. The lady was clearly panicked, and her child was clearly in trouble.

Seconds after the nurse left to go get the doctor, the baby started projectile vomiting all over the waiting room. The mom was doing everything she could to try to calm the baby down and keep the puke somewhat contained. I immediately stopped breastfeeding Oliver and ran to the front desk to get the nurse.

I followed the nurse back into the room and witnessed the doctor telling her to go to the ER. After standing around for a few minutes, I realized that I didn't put my breast back into my nursing bra and I was just standing there holding Oliver with my milky boob hanging out for the world to see. Awesome. I guess I really have turned European.

I was so engrossed with the book To Kill a Mockingbird that I spent a whole afternoon reading it while sitting on a large pile of laundry and feeding/playing with Oliver with one hand. Yup, best mom ever.

Dear Oliver: It's time you learned to sit up, push up on your tummy, make some effort to crawl, and eat more solid foods. The doctor said 50% of your problem is in your head and that if you really wanted to do it your muscles are now strong enough. Unless you want me to start spending your college money on weekly massages for my super sore back from carrying you around all day, you better get your "sit on" ASAP. Love, Mom.

P.S -- I'll actually put something in that cup when you make the above mentioned changes. Until then, enjoy your air snack.

P.P.S -- I can't get enough of your chubby cheeks and adorable much-rounder head. Ugh. I just can't say no to you. I'd carry you around forever if you really wanted it :)

I love that 3 out of 4 of my "kids" are Saturday lazy bum nappers. I covet nap time.

This is what I did the day I found out about the earthquake in Japan -- updated my 72 hour kits and food storage.

Oliver was kind enough to test out the emergency knife and radio.

He is SO happy we are prepared.

We tried to do a trial run for Abby's pictures on Wednesday. I see we've mastered the badger look...

The caught by surprise look....

And the cringe look....

Max is obsessed with Oliver and his helmet. He always puts his on whenever Oliver comes to visit. Oliver is obsessed with anything Max plays with. He's the coolest. It's hard to tell in the video, but Max is "fake" knocking on Ollie's helmet. No children were harmed in this video.

25% Is Better Than Nothing!

2011-03-13T04:44:00.003-07:00

We have officially hit a notable landmark – 25% of Jeremy’s deployment to Djibouti is over! Sweet mother of awesomeness!

To mark this special day, here are 25 interesting tidbits from that time:

From his end….

1. Jeremy’s first purchase with his overtime money was an iPad.

2. His favorite pastime is reading magazines like Urban Farmer and Hobby Farm Home

3. He can’t wait to come home and build a small home server. For the record, I have no idea what that means.

4. He loves to watch Battle Star Glattica or read at night.

5. He gave his first talk during church last week. Topic: ideas from the Sermon on the Mount

6. Jeremy spent the night in the hospital shortly after he got there. He had an infection. Don’t be fooled; he LOVES military doctors and all their cool stories. I think he got the infection on purpose.

7. Off base, Jeremy eats baby lamb quite frequently. It’s about $6 a plate.

8. Every Wednesday he has board Games night. They usually play Venture or Scrabble.

9. Jeremy wakes up several hours every night; he thinks its sympathy sleeploss for his poor wife at home

10. My love created a spreadsheet to chart his workout progress. Be still my beating heart.

11. He started out with 50 roommates (in one big tent) and now only has one. That what they call moving up in the world

Djibouti

style.

12. Jeremy’s standard breakfast consists of: oatmeal, fruit, milk, an english muffin, and two strips of bacon

13. Jeremy lives close to a few airfields. This thrills him to no end. Some people love to live near the ocean, but my man would take an airfield any day of the week.

14. There is a cheetah refuge near the base where you can volunteer to help take care of the cats. Jeremy can’t wait to join in.

15. Stripped hyenas walk the boundaries of the base. I guess they are nature’s bodyguards just doing their part.

16. When Jeremy eats off base he eats with one hand. Can just use your imagination on why….

17. Jeremy works 6-7 days a week, 12 hrs most days. I am loving the overtime pay – the one bonus of having him gone.

18. The weather is exactly the same every day – hot and humid.

19. It rained for the first time yesterday. It often flood the housing when that happens. The ground is just too dry to absorb the water. I’m sure you’re dying to know the iPad is okay!

From my end….

20. I’m so thankful I have dogs at my house. I don’t to worry about people sneaking into our house to hurt us at night.

21. Sleep can literally mean the difference between enjoying life and loathing it.

22. I can eat an entire key lime pie by myself.

23. My nanny is seriously the most amazing person ever. It’s going to be a sad, sad day when I don’t come home to my laundry folded, dinner made, and all my mail translated.

24. Kids are resilient. We don’t give them enough credit.

25. Chocolate and Coke can make any day better.

WE MISS YOU!!

Either Or

2011-03-10T10:17:00.003-07:00

This kid is so cute that he'd make one hot helmeted hockey player...

or one sexy tiara-wearing drag queen!

I guess it will just depend on if we're living in Canada or Thailand when the time comes :P

It’s About Time

2011-03-09T01:40:00.002-07:00

I blog for family history purposes, and to help assuage the tremendous amount of guilt I have about keeping grandparents away from their adorable grandbabies. If it manages to entertain people in the process, then all the better. Today, however, I feel as though I need to vent in a public venue. Just give me a moment to get on my soapbox.

Yesterday I had a conversation with my mom about a friend of mine that is not doing something they should be. Something that could have eternal repercussions on their family. Something that is heartbreaking for me to watch. Something that would take about 10 minutes a day if they actually did it. My mom’s response was, “ Well, people are busy, you know.” That bothered me. That REALLY bothered me. I thought about it all day long yesterday. I thought about it when I got up to breastfeed Oliver last night. It was the first thing I thought about this morning. And so, now I’m going to make you think about it.

I could go on about this topic forever, but I’ll try to summarize my thoughts in a few quick points….

** We ALL have the SAME number of hours in a day. How you choose to spend that time makes all the difference. People that accomplish a lot of things in a day do not get a few extra hours to help them; they just manage their time really well and don’t ‘waste’ it.

** NO ONE in the world is TOO busy to do what they want. It may take them a few years longer to reach their goal, but if they WANT to do it they will. It’s all about making your wants your priorities.

If you want to run a marathon then you need to put on your running shoes instead of the TV (or whatever you do that wastes time – see bottom for further details). If you want to lose weight then you need to prep healthy foods so they are accessible and ready to eat instead of playing Bejeweled on Facebook. If you want a better relationship with your kids you need to get off the phone with your BFF and get on the floor with a puzzle.

If you don’t like result then you need to change the action.

** There is nothing more selfish in this world than wasting someone else’s time. I am a huge advocate of cutting these people off. I do it all the time.

** EVERYONE has 10 minutes in their day to do something nice for someone else – open a door, send a letter, smile, help calm a crying baby, give a donation, whatever. NO ONE is that important. NO ONE.

** It’s seriously lame when people downplay the successes of others by using their “lack of time” – like that’s really the issue – for not doing it themselves.

Does this familiar: It must be nice THEY have so much time to lose weight/stay in touch with friends/learn a new sport/get a degree/whatever? I always want to respond with, “Yes, it is nice they have made that their priority. I’m sure they are loving the results.”

** I firmly believe that peoples’ circumstances play a very little role in how much time you have. You can have 20 kids and still be on time or have no kids at home and still never accomplish anything. If you never have any time then you need to see a life counselor to help you find where you are wasting it. Whining about not having any time is actually wasting more of your time.

** What you choose to do with your time is your own business. I have a friend who LOVES, seriously loves, to watch TV. And she is amazing at it. She writes fan fiction (my little celebrity). She is soon going to be a professional TV reviewer, and she gives the stinking best recommends ever. That is not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about things that you don’t really want to do but are doing to PROCRASTINATE doing the things you should be doing. For example, watching the same Dr.Phil episode for the fourth day in a row instead of doing your tax refund, etc. I think you know the difference.

This year for lent I am giving up wasting my time. I’m only doing things that make me a better person – taking down time when I need it, seeing friends I like, getting the necessary life things done, and supporting those who are using their time to seriously rock at whatever they are doing.

Can I get an Amen?

My Princess

2011-03-08T01:49:00.004-07:00

Parenting is not a competition.... BUT if it was, there are certainly days where I would be losing. Those days would include meltdowns (me as well as the kids), Abby going to school looking like a hobo, and dinners where the side dish is candy.

But not today, my friends. Today, I am WINNING! This was Abby's Mardi Gras costume for her school party:

She loved it. I loved it. All the kids loved it. It was simply lovable.

Who wouldn't be just a tad bit smug about a dress where the skirt lit up and flashed as she twirled? Other kids were princesses, but Abby was a princess with some serious techno lighting.

Then she refused to put on her fancy princess shoes and wore this number with her black converse sneakers. I guess winning isn't everything!

Melt Dddooowwwnnn!

2011-03-07T22:45:00.009-07:00

You know you've overstayed your welcome at someone's house when your kid drops their drawers, sits down on their sled, and pees through the slates all over the floor. Does this like look a toilet to anyone but Abby? Enjoy your urine-soaked sled next year, Bitners!

So, as you can tell from the ditty above, Abby's been having some rough days. She hasn't been feeling the greatest and her meltdown-at-any-moment attitude is shinning through. Yesterday's meltdown happened because I let Oliver wear her cherry hat. Oh my goodness. HOW DARE I? It's not like she doesn't have another five hats to choose from.

Look how cute he is in it:

This was the result of letting Oliver wear her hat for all of two minutes:

I had to take a video of all the drama. Now, this video was not meant to be funny; at the time, I wasn't cracking up at all. But now that I've watched it 20 times or so it is HYSTERICAL. Remember the movie Parenthood? There are two kids that stick out in my memory for obvious reasons: a brilliant girl about three that speaks different languages, skips grades in school, and is learning karate, and a boy about one that gets his entertainment by putting a pail on his head and walking into things.

Now watch this video and laugh along with me!

Utter Chaos

2011-03-03T12:10:00.005-07:00

This was actually meant for the private blog I keep for Jeremy, but I'm too lazy to delete it and repost there. That being said, the videos at the end are long and boring. Just thought I'd give you a heads up.

I don't know which was my favorite:

Chinese vinegar all over my floor OR....

Abby "cleaning" my carpet with olive oil.

Mexican casserole with a cornbread crust.

My chubby man likes his dolls!

Videos of Abby riding her bike and playing with Ollie.

Happy Birthday, Abby!

2011-02-27T09:02:00.006-07:00

My sweet and loving Abby turned THREE last month. I can't believe I already have a three-year-old. The time has flown by! Words cannot express how much I love this adorable, creative -- almost always naughty -- gem of a daughter.

We celebrated the big day by going to the circus. I thought the 'circus' was going to be Big-Top-Pee-Wee exciting. But alas, it was boy-scouts-could-have-made-the-tent-and-preformed-the-show exciting. Not so much elephants and tigers as ponies, doves, and dogs. I will give them props for having a camel. The kids loved it and the adults made fun of it -- what else is new?

It's really hard to have Jeremy gone for holidays and birthdays. We make the most out of it, but it's not the same without him. I try not to be in too many photos, but I couldn't resist getting one family photo on Abby's big day.

Abby got bored about half way through and played with pop cans. So, clearly, not much has changed in her world!

My friend made these awesome cupcakes for Abby's kita. She's got mad skills I wish I had. I was a little disappointed there weren't any leftovers to take home. Good thing I ate one (or more) or on the way there!

Abby's favorite part of the day was opening her presents.

I love how serious she is about these bathtub crayons. Thanks for the recommend on Facebook, Gil!

I know you are dying to see the camel, so here is what you missed. The commentary from my sister wife Shawna really makes the video. I'm a huge fan of the ending. I'm sure the camel won't be coming back next year if you know what I'm saying....

So Lazy

2011-02-21T11:06:00.007-07:00

I'm too lazy to write an actual blog, so here are a few quick thoughts from my week.

Abby often wants to go out and play, even when it is -10 (like my car registered three times last week!). I usually make her wait until Oliver is taking one of his tiny naps in the late afternoon, but yesterday she was dead set on outside time being RIGHT NOW.

This was how we compromised:

For someone that couldn't look both ways as an infant, Oliver has a dead-on-smack-things-out-of-your-hands reflex. He can pull plates off tables, knock yummy treats out of your mouth, and smash you in the teeth with his helmet in a blink of an eye. I couldn't be prouder.

He loves to grab the sides of his helmet near the top of his head and shake his head back and forth. Its' almost like he's saying, "hold on to your helmet -- this is going to be awesome." Strangely, I find myself reaching up to touch my imaginary helmet some of the time. That's what happens when you don't get enough sleep....

I really need to watch my mouth around the abs. This became apparent when we went outside and she proclaimed (as loud as she could), "It's so frickin' freezing." It's hard to scold someone for telling the truth :)

This is what happened when I went to the bathroom the other day. I only did a number one, so you can imagine how fast she was able to cut these berries. So glad she choose a dull knife!

It's nearly impossible to find a hat big enough to put over Oliver's helmet. Not to mention a hat that needed rather large spaces in the top so he wouldn't overheat while wearing it. Since Oliver loves to be in his stroller, even when it's "frickin' freezing," his nanny made him this super awesome hat. Loves it!

I had a parent-teacher conference at Abby's preschool last week. I'll spare you all the details, but I did find one comment rather interesting: I need to start telling the other parents to "mind their own business." It's pretty well known that German people don't pry into other peoples business. Apparently, the teachers feel the other parents ask me too many personal questions. Questions like: Why are you living in Germany? Does Abby like speaking German? Why does your son wear a helmet? Etc. It highly offends them. They feel I am being taken advantage of because we are foreigners. They told me that if I didn't feel comfortable telling the other parents to "mind their own business" then they would tell them for me. Um, no thanks.

Speaking of asking questions... it's amazing to me how interested people are in Oliver's helmet. He gets stared at ALL the time. In fact, a person was staring at him so hard while he was in the grocery cart that she walked into me in the produce aisle. I usually just jump in and let people know what's up if they clearly looked distressed about it. One lady had the audacity to say, "Well, that must be embarrassing for you." I should have picked him up and hit her with his dang helmet. Ugh! I'm going to scrapbook him some eyes for the front with these words in capital letters: STARE A LOT? Stay tuned for photos.