Run and Smash

Abby has had a fun few days of running around the house and smashing her head off things. Two days ago she smashed her head on the banister outside my house. Yesterday she ran into into the corner of the door frame. Today she fell off the counter and smashed her head on the sink divider. Good thing we have a ton of frozen peas! Nothing fixes a dented head like a loving hug from a caring daddy. Conveniently, that leaves my hands free to snap some photos.

She claims she fell into the door, but it sort of looks like she has a horn trying to come out. It could go either way. I'll keep tabs on it for my friends and family back home.

She's cute even with a bump/horn.

It took Abby about 10 minutes before she started eating the peas.

Peas are delicious!

Cindy Bethford

This is what happens when you lie too close to a creative toddler...

You come out looking like a much cuter Cindy Crawford.

Beth is the laziest dog known to man. Abby would have to poke out her eye to get her to move. Although, Beth might like a eye patch. She's real unique like that.

Around My House

Around my house I have dogs giving themselves time outs. Good dog. Stay!

And I have sneaky girls giving themselves night walker makeovers. In the good words of Shakespeare: Get thee to a nunnery! Or at least to the bathroom where we can get a lesson on washing one's face.

Great Expectations

Isn't Abby's goofy photo adorable? I could just squeeze those cheeks all day!


People wonder what my expectations are for this pregnancy -- do I think it will be difficult, do I want a girl or a boy, what will delivering in Germany will be like, am I excited, etc. I just roll my eyes because I know that regardless of whatever I expect, things will be the total opposite.

I had no idea what parenting was all about until I became a parent. I thought I knew everything. I read a ton of books, talked to nearly every other parent I knew, and watched Super Nanny religiously. What more can you do?

Just to show you how ridiculous I was, here are some of my "expectations" on parenting:


Expectation: I was not sharing food with my kids because that's just disgusting. No licking off the same ice cream cone for me.

Reality: I am like a momma bird, taking food from my mouth and putting it directly into Abby's. She's returned the favor on more than one occasion. It's just nice to eat food twice.

Expectation: The term "sleeping like a baby" meant something good.

Reality: Infants are horrible sleepers. No good sleep is interrupted every two hours. I want my next kid to sleep like a geriatric with hearing problems.

Expectation: I would hate staying home and count the days until I could work again.

Reality: There is no better job in the world. It's my greatest blessing.

Expectation: The baby weight would leave with the baby.

Reality: Wouldn't that be nice? Half the weight was Reese Peanut butter cups and Coke. You can't push that crud out.

Expectation: Every mother has motherly instincts.

Reality: A lot of that first year is trial and error. Who knew that Abby had an ear infection and wasn't just overly whinny? Not her mom. Good thing she is so patient with me!

Expectation: No means no!

Reality: No means you better hurry up and throw whatever is in your hand before mom gets over here. Put on a cute face and yell, "hugging time." Mommies can't say no to that.

Expectation: Abby was NEVER going to eat junk food because we want to break the cycle of obesity.

Reality: We are actually really, really good at feeding her healthy, balanced and diverse foods. On the flip side, that girl can pound some cake like it's nobody's business. She also knows that Popyees sells macaroni and cheese and Burger King has super yummy fries.

Expectation: I was going to be the only parent that doesn't talk about her kid all day.

Reality: This whole blog is a running commentary about Abby. I'm that annoying mom on so many different levels. Sure there's other stuff I could talk about, but she gives me the best material. There is going to be a book about her someday.

Expectations: Our parents would still care about us.

Reality: It's all about the grand kids! I'm sure my mom will be disappointed this last photo is of me. This is prime Abby space. I've become a vessel for the yet to be seen grand kids of the future. Abby, Abby, Abby -- I am no longer the pack leader, and even the dogs have noticed. They walk on eggshells around Abby but have no problem running me over. It's not like I'm that hard to miss!

Here is the expectation-less new baby bump at 15 weeks. That being said, I expect to get much bigger. Let's hope I'm wrong!

Please Melt!

Japan had two days of really good snow, and Abby FINALLY got to use her new snowsuit I got her at Thanksgiving. She looks like the kid from The Christmas Story all bundled up.

Abby was just thrilled at the sticky wet goodness that is snow. She didn't think it was cold enough to require her hat. She's quite decisive.

I built her this super creepy snowman. It's eyes seriously got to me. I had the urge to kick it over on the way inside just in case it came to life and gave us the serious stare down.

Abby wasn't much of a helper. She mostly put snow in her bucket, waited until it melted a little, then drank it. Disgusting. Clearly she has no idea what our dogs do on that yard.

Good bye super freak snow man. May you melt and never return (although I'm sure I'll see you in a nightmare or two).

Elmo Coma

Abby isn't really a TV fan, but she does have an Elmo crush that is just adorable. She doesn't like the full Sesame Street show, but she loves the 15 minutes of the Elmo's World segment and it's ultra annoying theme song. It's entrancing for her. Seriously, there is nothing that can pull her away.

Gracie isn't a fan. It's the most boring 15 minutes of her life. You can just see the joy seeping from those big brown eyes.

Beth, on the other hand, is memorized.

I doubt they even know I took any pictures.

Here she is watching on a different day. She looks like a little adult all sprawled out and eating in front of the TV. She's already got the pre-teen attitude going on.

Needed: One Time Out Mat

This is Abby's new time out mat. She was thrilled to find it, but I think she'll be less than thrilled to find out what it means for her. It has become necessary since she started her I'll-hit-you-in-the-face-if-I'm-annoyed tomfoolery. I have a feeling she is going to spend A LOT of time on this little ditty.

Here are the rules for the time out mat:

Just so you get the full effect. (Clearly I posted it on an angle and will fix it as soon as I'm done blogging this).

Here is a time out moment caught on tape. You don't even see that wild slapping arm coming...

Any tips on how time outs work in your home?

Running Behind

It's much easier for me to take video than photos at the moment because Abby won't keep still and she's created a fake smile that comes out every time the camera does. I managed to bribe her with some nerds to get these two beauties. As soon as I get my lens fixed (the one that broke in Peru) I'll make a concerted effort to get some more.

Full Circle

This is Abby's friend, Ainsley. She is a doll. They always have a fun time when they're together. Abby enjoys having a big friend around to teach her new things and pull her around in fun toys.

This brings me back to the days of pulling my sister Pam around in the laundry basket. I used to tie the skipping rope to the handle and run as fast as I could up around the rooms of our house. It's fun to see my child doing the same things I did; although she's got two dogs to tie to the laundry basket. Some kids have all the luck.

La La La

Next time I get caught doing something naughty, like eating sunscreen, I am going to look away and sing while being questioned. It seems to work for some people..

Things About Me

Normally my blog is dedicated to all things Abby, so I thought it might be nice to let you know what I’m up to. Hopefully Jeremy will send his updates along later this weekend. Today he is at the woodshop playing with saws and welding tools. He such a man’s man J :)

Hello, David.

2010 brings a fresh new Beth Moore bible study with my PWOC group. This semester we are studying David. I am so excited to learn his story. I am so thankful there is no eschatology in David. The prophecies in Daniel made my head spin. Beth Moore gave us the Baptist view of eschatology, then we learned some of the Protestant views, and then I had to cross reference that with what the LDS manual teaches. YIKES. Regardless of which is true, I’m certainly well educated and prepared for almost all of the end-of-the-world scenarios.

Biology – Good Riddance!

Yesterday I completed my biology exam and said goodbye to science forever. I dreaded taking human biology, but I’m super proud that I finally finished that stupid class and did pretty awesome in it. I did my final thesis on whether bariatric surgery was an effective tool for fighting the obesity epidemic. At least that was interesting. My next class I’m going to take is introductory German.

Last month I had my Canadian college transcripts converted and transferred to the University of Maryland. I was thrilled so many credits were accepted. Now I really need to focus on my major (political science) and minor (Emergency Management) and hammer this thing out. I’m hoping to get a job at a place like FEMA or the Red Cross.

My Bags are Packed

So we should be flying off to Germany this week and starting our new life in Europe. Alas, I write this from my couch with no airline ticket in hand and no hope in sight. We are now guessing we’ll see new land (with a week stopover in DC) around the end of March.

Being in limbo is SO annoying. I’m trying my hardest to keep a good attitude and I’m focusing on practicing patience. I know there is a time and a season for everything; I just need to find out why this season is dragging on for so dang long.

Good Reads

I am just starting a new five-book series called: Percy Jackson & the Olympians. I haven’t heard anything about it, but my friend Christy recommended them. You’ll have to let me know if you read then and what you thought of them.

That’s all from me. Send me your news. I love getting updates on all the wonderful things you’re doing. I miss you all!

Love, Denise

The USO Rocks

The USO sponsored Sesame Street to come to Atsugi and put on a performance for the kiddos. Abby loves Elmo and was so excited to hear that he was coming to visit her. The show was about 40 minutes, with tons of singing and dancing. Jeremy didn't want to miss out on the fun and came along. It was so much fun!

**There was a photo of Crystal here but she made me take it down, which is crazy because she always looks great**

This is my friend Crystal. She has been such a treat for me. Not only is she hilarious, adventurous, loves boardgames, and is a pastry goddess, but our kids are friends and enjoy playing together.

Abby loves to cuddle with her dad.

We had great seats.

These were the characters that made an appearance.

They gave us the best toys to play with.

Our new best friends.

Everything in our house has been smacked with this spinning Elmo toy, including us and the dogs. When the battery runs out it's going to get "lost."

Where's My Baby?

This video makes me a little sad because I'm realizing that my baby is growing up. She is so independent and joyful and loving -- everything I ever hoped for. She is such a free spirit, finding entertainment around every corner. I sneak up on her laughing to herself nearly every day. I'm so glad she sometimes lets me in on the joke.

Here she is playing away her nap time:

Thanks for Nothing

Jeremy, Abby and I have all been pretty sick for the past week. Abby came down with "it" first. We still have no idea what "it" was. First she had a little red dot that appeared on her legs, then it spread out into super fun white bubbled rashes everywhere. We called the doctor and they asked if she was throwing up, not eating or drinking or had a fever. She was acting totally normal, except for the Phantom of the Opera patches all over her body. It was confirmed that she had a viral infection and Benadryl and Tylenol were our best options to making the rashes go away. They would spring up and go away within hours, always somewhere new and always with different sized bumps and colors. It was pretty fun to guess where they would show up next. They weren't itchy and didn't seep at all, so Abby had no idea they were even there.

Here are some shots of "it" captured on film:

The face-neck rashes creeped me out a lot. I was a little concerned it would work its way into her mouth and eye. Thankfully it didn't.

Here "it" is above her lip, her arm and her back.

Here it is working it's way down her legs.

I'd like to report she's as good as new now. No sign of "it" at all. Who knows when/where it will pop up next.

Jeremy and I got the flu-like symptoms to the extreme. We both had terribly sore throats, snotty noses and foggy heads. We were like a pile of zombies. We ended up going to emergency care at the air force base on the Saturday. Jeremy left with a handful of medication.

Here is how my appointment went:

Doctor: YIKES. Are you able to eat and drink okay? Your throat is really red and swollen.

Denise: Yes, but it hurts like heck.

Doctor: Good, because I'm not going to give you anything since you're pregnant. Have a nice day.

Denise: Thanks for nothing. Literally.

Knocked Up

Here is the newest addition to our family:

Baby Robertson appears pretty huge, so my due date has been pushed up to July 31st. We're pretty excited to see if we have another girl or a boy. Jeremy wants another girl, of course.

I've had my usual cravings: fresh fruit, homo milk, toasted sesame seed dressing on my salads (who are we kidding --I drink it straight from the bottle), sorbet, Canadian chocolate bars (Coffee Crisp, Caramilk, Crispy Crunch, Crunchie, etc) and things my dad used to make (fried bologna, sausages with mustard, bacon and cheese whiz on a hot dog bun).

I had some morning sickness in the beginning, but have been feeling great for the past few weeks. I'm still able to run when I have the energy. I'm really thankful I haven't gained a ton of weight (yet!).

So happy we can finally share the news!

Love,
The Robertsons

You're Gonna Get It

I spend most of my day keeping Abby from killing herself. From removing curtain sting from her neck, catching her as she falls from grand heights or chasing her down before she gets to the road – it’s never a dull day.

Here she is making the bad decision to unbuckle herself from her car seat. Although there are no car seat laws in Japan and you don’t have to put a seatbelt on your child, we’re pretty old school about the situation and require it.

Here she is openly defying me, yet again:

Don't Touch!

Jeremy decided to make parts of his new home theaeter. This is the tube amplifier for the sound system. For those of you without nerdy husbands, this amplifies the sound for the speakers. This one is made from old vacumn tubes. This has been Jeremy's "baby" for quite some time. Half of the parts had to be flown over and the rest he used his allowance to buy. He also started building it a case in the woodshop. He's still working on that.

Here he is testing it for the first time. He was extremely nervous it wouldn't work. I was nervous he wasted his time and money on something that would explode and burn our house to the ground.

The results can be seen here:

Just Like Dad

This video is proof that Abby is 100% Jeremy's child. They watch TV like twins -- always on their favorite cushion with remote control in hand. She even "hides" the remote when she sees me coming and then tells me "bye" when it's apparent I'm going to revoke her TV privileges. Love that kid. Love that dad!

Puppy Love

My mom gave Abby these cute dog statues when we went home in the summer. Abby LOVES them. She carries them everywhere -- in the car, in the stroller, to play dates. She calls them Gracie and Bethers, much like her real live pooches. I can hear her talking to them while she's in her crib. It just makes my heart smile when I see her making them give each other high fives with their paws. So thankful my mom thought to get these. I'd be terrified if I ever lost them.

Ride 'Em Cowboy

I have so much fun clowning around with Abby all day long. It's the best job I've ever had. We love driving around in this van...

It's a great cuddle spot.

I really wanted to get Abby riding her seahorse on film. She usually gets pretty animated and makes the funniest sounds. She also rides it really fast and usually ends up so exhausted she just puts her head down and rests afterwards.

Instead I got on the panda and had a blast.... until I rode it too far to the side and didn't have the thigh muscles to stay on. I had two options: pull every muscle from the lady parts down or gracefully bail out and call it a day. I could have stayed on if I wanted to. Really, I could :P

The best part is that Abby doesn't even seem to notice mom is having issues. She is so focused on making sure the train gets a proper farewell that she doesn't show any concern for her poor momma. So tender.

Undercover

I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I am pretty sure Japanese people have removable legs. I can make three good cases to support this theory.

1. The back seats to their cars leave no room for legs. Poor Abby has to straddle the seat just to fit and she's not even two yet.

2. They wear incredibly short skirts with bare legs in the middle of winter and are never cold.

3. Ninety-nine percent of this country is rail thin, but almost everyone has somewhat chunky thighs. They should have thighs of narrow steel from riding their bikes all day long.

I'm on to you Japan. Don't think I haven't noticed.

A Montessori Mommy

I’ve started taking a Montessori approach to mothering Abby -- instead of forcing her to learn stuff she doesn’t care about, I follow her lead and teach her things that catch her attention. So we’ve left the world of numbers and moved on to her all-consuming love of chipmunks, sandpaper, dogs, sidewalk chalk and trains.

Sidewalk chalk has been a great way to teach her colors. She’s also pretty excited to learn shapes; although they all end up being hearts that look like straight lines. Well, at least I can be proud they’re pretty straight.

Don’t take my word for it -- check it out here:

Hot Digs

Abby and I were bored yesterday, so we took ourselves on a walking tour of Depot. So many wonderful decaying buildings to explore.

This is our meeting place in an emergency - NO JOKE! This is where we go if the end of the world ever comes; although I would dare say this building has already seen the end the world. I hope the plastic they used to fix all the missing sheet metal holds up when the enemy comes! Perhaps the enemy won't think to look in this crap hole for any survivors, or they'll take pity on us because this is the best the military can offer us for protection.

I'm particularly pleased that there is a vending machine outside so I can IV coke right into my body if I'm forced to take shelter here. Aren't you jealous?

Party On

We had a fun few days of partying it up on Depot. Ironic, isn't it?

New Year's Day involved an 8-hour board game showdown -- Culps vs. Robertsons. I think we came up pretty even, but it wasn't without some bumps and bruises. Ruckus got so out of control we had to ditch the seats and play on our feet with elbows out. We made it through this whole stack and then some.

We stopped a few times for some yummy food. My cookies came out awesome. Cheyenne made a great brisket that tasted just divine on white bread with mayo and ketchup. I have to admit I had some for breakfast the next day.

Abby had a BLAST with her friend Ainsley. They played so well almost the whole time. Even sweet baby boy Culp was a jolly monkey, content to just sit and watch the crazy adults. Abby normally refuses to go to sleep when we have guests over, but she was so exhausted she went down without a peep.

Party two was a mixer for all the Depot residents. Abby looks divine in her new sweater. It was great to finally get a chance to meet all the families that have moved onto our base. There are some really fun people here that I never would have met otherwise. We also met a fun couple that lived in Berlin for a while. We are actually trying to move into the neighborhood they lived in. It will be so much fun to get their advice and recommendations.

Cheers to a new year of friends, family and dreams fulfilled!

Recommendations

Jeremy and I are starting to stockpile downloaded TV shows and kindle books for our big move. We will probably be in a hotel for a month in Berlin while we look for a house, and then it will take about another month for our stuff to get to us. When you have to live out of a few suitcases for months at a time there isn't much room for entertainment. I am so thankful for my laptop and my kindle. It is loads of miniature fun.

I would love any suggestions on good books, movies or TV shows you have watched. They don't have to be recent; I'm always up for some great oldies. I'll return the favor below.

These were my favorite books I read in 2009:
The Education of Little Tree
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
Inkheart
The Tipping Point
The Secret Garden
Life is So Good
Giving: How each of us can Change the World
The Secret Life of Bees
Angelina Jolie’s Notes From my Travels

Can You Answer These Questions?

I had an interesting conversation with a friend last week about picking a church to attend. I thought it was important to pick a church based on whether or not you agreed with their docterine and philosphies. My friend thought it was important to pick one close to your house that had nice people. She was convinced that most churches (Baptists, Protestants, Anglicans, etc) all basically taught the same things so it didn't really matter which one you attended.

For some reason this conversation has made me crazy, so I went ahead and wrote the 11 most important things I would want to know if I ever switched churches. Here it is:

1. Where does your church stand on moral contemporary issues (abortion, divorce, homosexuality, women clergy, etc)? Do they support any political affiliation?

2. What community organizations does your church support with either money or time?

3. What sort of qualifications do you have for your clergy?

4. What is the financial breakdown of your church? What percentage goes to salaries, building costs, church programs, community donations, charities, etc?

5. How does a member of your church receive personal revelation (answer to prayers)?

6. What fellowship programs do you have so members get to know and serve each other?

7. What classes or programs do you have to help me better understand the scriptures and your interpretation of them?

8. How are your weekly sermons created? Are they set topics or lead by personal inspiration?

9. How are you helping instill Gospel truths to the children of the church? What particular milestones are there for them and how are you helping prepare them to meet those deadlines?

10. What is your church doctrine on the judgment and the Atonement? How are we saved? How are we judged? How would you describe Heaven? What happens to those you don’t make it there?

11. Why should I attend your church over another domination – Baptist, Protestant, Mormon, Islam, etc? What sets you apart and why is it true?

It would be great to hear your thoughts and opinons on the topic. What draws you to the chruch you attend and why do you stay there? What questions would you want answered if you switched denominations? Could you answer the questions I posed above with certainity?

Bedtime Drama

Abby has recently learned to crawl out of her crib. It's been a bit of a challenge for me to get her down for a nap now that she knows she can just escape and play away her nap time. I've tried to follow the SuperNanny rules -- keep putting her back, no speaking or negotiating, not giving up until her regular nap time has lapsed, even if she refuses to sleep.

My biggest problem is that if she crawls out of her crib to play, she can't get back in to put herself to sleep when she starts winding down. I would hate to switch out her bed right before we move; I was hoping she would stay content in her crib until we got out of here.

After about two hours of me wrestling with her she finally got to sleep, so I couldn't help but videotape her passed out in all her glory.

While I was hanging out by the door to catch her being naughty, I caught her singing a complication of Popcorn Popping, Head Shoulders Knees and Toes, How Much is that Doggie in the Window and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. How can I be mad at someone so adorable?

Any tips on keeping her in her crib?

Tap On

Here is Abby rocking out her new church shoes. Clearly, she is going to be a tap dancer.

Do We Smell?

Here comes an awesomely truthful rant. The purpose is not to offend people, but I’m sure it will. I write it in jest, but we all know that humor stems from the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts; suck it up!

I’ve never in my life been in a ward as weird as the one here. I’m not saying the people don’t live the Gospel, love the church or have charity -- I’m just saying we’re a big group of socially awkward nut balls. All of us. There is not one exception.

Jeremy and I have tried our hardest to be friends with everyone. Almost weekly I send messages to other moms in the ward to set up play groups. We all have kids near the same age range and we are almost ALL stay-at-home-moms. Am I needy because I think our kids (and us) could benefit from getting out of the house and having human face-to-face interactions? One lady told me I was needy straight to my face. Perhaps I am, but at least I'm not lame. And I leave my house.

If anyone even bothers to respond to my emails, I usually get tons of “I’m too busy” or “It’s too difficult for me to come see you” or, my favorite, “Maybe next week.” It’s been next week for three-and-a-half years. Next week isn’t coming. Get yourself a calendar and put my name on it already.

We’ve also had a ton of parties where we’ve invited EVERYONE in the ward. We don’t play favorites or invite people based on who likes who. You either want to come or you don’t. It’s not fifth grade. But since most people don’t come, I’m assuming perhaps we’re the people they’re looking to avoid. This is better clarified by the fact that we have gotten about five invites in three-and-a-half years to someone’s house in the ward. This doesn't include the many, many dinners I had at my friend Maryl's house. She was a shining exception. I have a feeling that we’re not the only ones who are out-of-the-loop. Isn’t a ward supposed to be a big happy family? A respite from the world?

I know you’re probably thinking we’re super losers at the moment, but it’s just not the case. We spend most of our time with people outside the ward. We’re still moving and a shaking and loving life. We just long for the days of Beijing where the ward was friends and every Sunday was a brawl to have the most guests over for dinner. We didn’t avoid each other like the plague, give people the preverbal “we should get together sometime” middle finger and avoid the people on the same base like they have the scabies.

Perhaps people just forget we exist because we live so far away.

Is it because we're Democrats (or at least I am and hope Jeremy will fully switch sides someday)?

How many more days until we leave?

P.S -- It also bothers me that expatriots around here never talk about the wives of the family. We're all obsessed with what our husbands do, where they are in the world and where they are dragging us next. It would be super nice for someone to ask me what I'VE been doing. Which, for the record, has been a lot. I've climbed Mt. Fuji, hiked the Inca trail, taken a ton of online courses in biology and political science, read 35 books since April, taught myself to run, took two vacations home, did a bible study on Daniel and lost 45 pounds. Oh, and I also cleaned my house nearly every day and parented up a storm. Thanks for asking.