Trying to Catch Up

About a month ago, Oliver started creeping around the house. He can push shopping carts, musical lions, and chairs from one side of the room to the other. He can climb like a monkey. He's also learned to pull himself up in his crib, which leaves me equally proud and annoyed. Do you see that ONE tooth he's sporting? He has another one half way out of his gum. Hot.

Abby, on the other hand, has decided she can't walk at all. If there is a street light anywhere within a mile radius, she is going to take a running leap and smack her face into it. I wish I was joking. Check out the massive bonk in the middle of her head.

About a week later it turned yellow and left her with two black eyes. She couldn't be any cuter.

Jeremy and I have an awesome new restaurant we can't stop eating at. It's called The Bird, and they have the best burgers and fries in all of Berlin. We took some of our favorite people there for dinner on Saturday and then we all went back to our friends place for a night of pudding brownies and board games. The Bird will be the reason why I'm wearing sweatpants for our Christmas vacation next month. It's ruined any chance I had at reaching my goal weight. And I don't stinking care. Okay, I do a little bit. Whatever.

The lantern festivals were in full swing last week. It was freezing for the night walks. Forget the lanterns -- we all should have walked around with portable heaters.

Abby was a lantern princess, of course.

This is what happens when you let Jeremy parent solo for a Saturday.

What. The. Crap.

Be still my bleeding, OCD-ridden, helicopter-parent-loving heart. I am dead certain there are a MILLION things Oliver could have chocked on and died in this lethal pile of inappropriateness. I can't look at this photo anymore.

The Flanagan family gave away over 1,000 pieces of candy on Halloween. They ran out before people stopped coming.

Germans love Pippy Longstocking.

Abby is always the princess.

Oliver was a one-and-a-half-tooth-creeping monster. Who would have thunk it?

Jeremy also had a birthday at the end of last month. He's still younger than me. Sigh. That hurts inside.

Isn't this the best chocolate cake ever? I licked the back of the cake while I was waiting in the car for Jeremy to get ice cream at the grocery store. He was a little offended, but it was just too good. I might also have eaten most of the chocolate bar off the top. Does it count that I paid for it?

Abby and I made new crayons with her old broken crayons. She is obsessed with them.

We took Oliver to get circumcised last month. Apparently, it's inhumane to do it as soon as they are born; it's makes much more sense to do it when they are old enough to remember getting their junk altered. We brought it up with our doctor and he was confident that he "knew a guy." Sounds shady, so we were definitely in.

You have babies show up every 10 minutes starting at 9. They immediately make the kids loopy on some sort of drug, and then take them back to be prepped with one of their parents. They come out at the other end completely asleep with a tube down their throat. Pants? Nowhere to be found. The parents are brought in about 10 minutes before they wake up.

Here's the deal: as soon as the baby wakes up they pull the tube out of their throat and immediately give the baby to the parents so that they don't start screaming and grabbing at the IVs, or, even worse, their new (and hopefully improved) man parts.

Seeing your kid passed out on a recovery room table with tubes in their arms and throat is TRAUMATIZING. I was trying as hard as I could to not pass out when Oliver woke up and they literally pulled the tube out of his mouth as they were passing him to me. NOT a good idea. Um, you almost had two patients on your hands.

For the record, this man shield was not strong enough to fend off the Abby.

The Germans recommended tons of tea soaking. It's their go-to cure for everything. It's this nation's Tiger Balm. I love this photo of Oliver checking out his new digits. You're welcome, Oliver.

The dog box has to be the best investment ever. It's endless fun for kids of all ages. Abby loves to put Ollie inside and then sit in front of the door. She's quite the little helper.

Is it safe to put walnuts in the electrical outlets? Um, let me ask Oliver.

Random pre-church photo shoots.