The sweet staff at FNS gave me an airplane package for the trip over. One of the items was a National Enquirer. This is a quote from one of the stories inside. It made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants. Enjoy!
To quell a recent surge in party mortality, the U.S. Medical Birthday Council has released urgent guidelines for safe surprising. Hugs given after the surprise should be firm and rhythmic to support heart action and prevent cardiac arrest. If a loved one is stricken, we urge cardiac catheterization throughout the festivities. During this procedure, doctors penetrate the femoral artery and clear any blockages with a tiny balloon. Some patients request an animal shape, and most surgeons are more than happy to oblige. It might be a good idea to throw your next party right at the hospital. Show your loved one that you intensively care.
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