Reality Check

Here are some of my drug-induced random thoughts six days post-op.

Clearly, I needed a reality check. If you read my blog "Rhino Rockets" it sounded like I had a pretty good idea of what this surgery was and how I was going to feel. Not even close. In fact, that would be the exact opposite of where I find myself currently.

There was no point in downloading any media, as I spend most of the time staring into space and drooling an equal mixture of blood and slime down the front of my workout clothes. I've watched the same episode of Private Practice three times (each time was like watching it new), I've been playing the same game of Sudoku for six days (just can't seem to make the letters go in the right boxes) and read the same chapter over and over in the first book I opened up. And, to make it even more pathetic, it's a children's book. I should have had the whole thing read in three hours.

I didn't experience any teeth numbness, but I did score a totally hot rash when my body had an allergic reaction to Amoxicillin. I swear I've had that crap like 10 times without a problem. The rash started at my knee caps and ended under my armpits. The main rashy-goodness was centered on my stomach.

Here's a snapshot of the joy:

I've learned to the love the sweet reassuring taste of my friend, Roxicet. I'll take it straight up from the bottle, from a syringe, even from the plastic cup. It doesn't matter where it comes from, only that it shows up every four hours on the dot. You know it's going to be bad when they give you 50 doses. I caught Abby trying to lick some out of the plastic cup I used last night. Needless to say, I already licked the plastic cup clean. She is such an addict.

Here she is taunting me with my saving grace:

Three times I day I get to shoot some salty water up my nose to clear the dried blood out of my nose tubes so I can breathe. Usually it pushes so much bloody snot down my throat that I end up coughing out my mouth in the sink. Salty water plus gaping holes in my throat where raw tonsils used to be equals more Roxicet. That's right -- be jealous.

Here is am shooting water in my rad tubes:

I have plastic in my nose. I'm just that cool.

Here is a gross shot of the puss and slime covering the back of my throat. I took this picture on day 3. It's WAY worse now.

This is where I spend my days. Normally the Abbster and the dogs aren't here, but they didn't want to miss the photo op. Abby is taking a swing at the Sudoku puzzle. She'd probably do it faster than me at this point.

Gracie and Beth can both smell all the dried blood around my face and occasionally I wake up to them trying to lick my wounds clean. What caring, loving pooches.

After this photo was taken, Abby tried to stand up and her head smashed me right in the throat, which was less painful than yesterday when she lost her balance and grabbed my nose to steady herself

Can you tell I've lost more weight? I'm averaging about a pound a day. I'm now down to 181.5!

Stay tuned for Monday when they rip the plastic tubes out of my nose. Maybe I'll bring my video camera :)