Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Filter Is Off

I’ve had a lot of random thoughts cross through my mind while my husband has been away. Having him to confide in helps me hide the crazy from everyone else I associate with on a daily basis. However, he’s not here, so I thought you might get a kick out just some of the things I obsessed about today. For your viewing pleasure, I put up a few random photos and videos of my children to break up all the insanity that is my inner dialogue.

Why are LDS-based products so dang expensive? You nearly have to give blood to afford anything at Deseret Book lately. For example, the new book Undaunted is $26. The Kindle version is $16. That’s ludicrous. I like Gerald Lund as much as the next person, but unless The Savior wrote the forward it’s not worth it. Don’t even get me started on The Living Scriptures.

Wait. Let’s talk about them. I can get them free online, but for some reason pirating church materials doesn’t quite feel right. A friend of mine offered to split the cost of the Book of Mormon ones (she would keep the discs and I could burn them onto my Apple TV) but that also doesn’t sit well with me. Paying over $300 for them makes me want to vomit in my mouth. Why can’t they just be a REASONABLE price for what they are – seriously outdated, yet educational, 80s graphic cartoons. For that price, my kids better become prophets after watching them.

I recently Netflixed the old TV show Christy. I remember loving it. Rewatching it was painful. Long story short, she was in love with two men: the preacher, David Grantland, and the doctor Neil MacNeil. Seriously, Neil MacNeil was the best name the writers could come up with? I am going to go ahead and say marry the other guy. At least I can take comfort in knowing I never married anyone named Jeremy MacJeremy.

Why is it that there are no clothing stores for anyone my age? I either have to try to fit into styles meant for teenagers or dress like I’m retired.

If you’re having an argument with your toddler and she “anger urinates” all over the floor to spite you – you’ve lost the battle. Just clean it up and move on.

Speaking of peeing… if your toddler pees in the water 30 minutes into their bath can you cross that chore off your list as accomplished? What if you wipe them off really well at the end?

A few nights ago I woke up to Abby and Gracie (my german shepherd) spooning in hallway between my bedroom and hers. Super tender. I don’t know why she loves to sleep with Gracie, but only comes near Beth when she wants to practice cutting with scissors.

Have you ever wanted to write a blog, but found that someone had already written it? I had this experience after General Conference: http://mormonchildbride.blogspot.com/2010/10/even-though-nobody-asked.html.

I found someone the other day that would make the best sister/wife should the need arise. I’m going to start a list.

Abby has just started playing with imaginary friends. I, of course, spent the whole evening looking up signs of schizophrenia. Seriously, it’s a little creepy. Isn’t schizophrenia technically just people that are really, REALLY loyal to their ‘friends?’ Doesn’t that just make the people who grow out that stage fickle?

I recently learned that they are encouraging people with certain cancers to drink breast milk. I took this a step further and have been putting my left over breast milk in Beth’s food bowl. You never know…

I watched the Sound of Music the other day and thought (for a brief second) how cool it would be to have seven kids. But I’m sure once they got sick of singing it was just turn into a lot of whining and seven different voices screaming “MINE.” Oh, Disney – you almost had me.

3 comments:

A Friend's Perspective said...

You're not crazy. You're awesome. Those thoughts prove that you have enough brain left to contemplate. Consider yourself blessed to have that much brain left. :) Love ya!

The Doughracle said...

And I thought I was the only one who had crazy thoughts that needed to be "downloaded" to her husband to prevent leakage to unsuspecting friends! Seriously even your crazy thoughts are hilarious, and [;ease feel free to download to me if the need arises, I totally understand. When my husband is away (and I don't get out enough) and these thoughts come, I often have to pull myself up with "do normal people thing these things?" when I get to that point, I realise I need company asap (or a call from Andrew will do) ! :)

Denna Le Lyman-Robertson said...

I have the full set of Book of Mormon and New Testament series from Living Scriptures that you could have for free. The down side; they are all on VHS. They are yours if you want them.