Sunday, July 11, 2010

Thanks, Dad

Losing my father as a child was heartbreaking and terrifying. At the time, I never thought that I would ever be able to feel true joy again. The grief and pain was overwhelming. Even years later certain scents, memories or experiences would bring me right back to those dark depressing days.

Over time I started laughing again (and not feel guilty about it). The fear of the unknown subsided and life went forward. Huge milestones came -- my first boyfriend, amazing friends, completing college, travelling abroad, getting married, etc.

Sometimes I still dwell on what I am missing instead of the blessings I am so generously given. And yet, they continue to come even with my ingratitude.

Then I had Abby and I got a small piece of my father back. She came from Heaven with the sweetest little dimple in her chin, just like Grandpa Archie. From day one she has been a little prankster and jokester, certainly a skill the two of them worked on before she came here. Sometimes she will do the wackiest, craziest things and I will just look upwards and think THANKS FOR TEACHING HER THAT.

I am so excited to see what part of my father the next baby babe will bring with him. While I am impatiently awaiting the new baby’s arrival, I am sure my dad is soaking up every spare moment of time they have together. He IS an amazing grandparent, even if he only gets to have that honor on the other side of the veil. How I wish babies came out talking; I would certainly love to hear of their adventures.

Children are joy returned and promises fulfilled. I think I got the very best two Heaven had to offer (and I haven’t even met my son yet). Take that for high expectations.

5 comments:

Holly said...

Yay for dads!

Love you!

Aunt Kim said...

I loved this piece of writing! One of my favourites! xoxox

Jessica said...

It's comforting to have the knowledge that life existed before we were born and that it continues. With that knowledge you can think of your father continuing to have an influence on you and your family. Genetics are amazing. Kids are amazing.

Andrea D said...

That was so special. I needed a good cry. We love you.

Andrea D said...

That is so special, i needed a good cry. You still have your way with words. Love you!