A Long Farewell

I’ve been dreading writing this blog for about a month and a half now. I’ve uploaded all the pictures about 10 times and then deleted them completely out of my archive. I’ve put off writing a ton of other blogs because I knew that I had to finish this one first.

It’s with heartbreaking sadness I let you all know; sweet Beth is no longer with us.

Ugh. I’m one paragraph in and sobbing already.

It was only about four years ago that we wanted to find a sister for Gracie. We searched high and low and just couldn’t find the perfect pooch – until we stumbled across Beth. She was so excited to see us walk in and nearly clawed her way out of her cage. The minute they put her in my arms I knew we weren’t leaving that store without her.

We also knew that she had some problems. She came with a stomach rash and a broken tail. We tried to ask the store clerk what was wrong with her, but they just offered us a discount (she was still about $1200!) and gave us a big smile. So off we went with our slightly damaged discount dog.

Instantly she bonded with Gracie. They chased each other all day long – barking and rough housing and getting into all sorts of mischief. They were the perfect children, and completed our family for those first few years.

When she was about two years old we tried to get her neutered but her blood tests came back with super irregular results. It was apparent that she had problems with her kidneys. She had showed other signs of being sick, but those problems were somewhat easy to fix and masked the larger issue. She took a turn for the worse right before we left Japan. It was on a hope and a prayer that we finally got her cleared to come with us. Although, I think they realized there was NO way I was leaving that island without her. Even then, the specialist said that she only had about six good months left in her.

So she came with us to Germany. We found her a great vet that was diligent in her research of congenital kidney failure and its current treatments.

Beth was pretty stable until Nov, and then ran into some problems: bleeding in the intestines, open sores from toxins being absorbed in the skin, ear infections, not being able to absorb food and losing a ton of weight, a horrific odor followed her everywhere, etc. She was on at least seven medications those last few weeks, including a weekly B12 injection that I had to take her to the vet to get. She needed to be on a special diet of horsemeat and cooked potatoes, which she needed three times a day. It was costing an insane amount of money (around $500-$800) a month. But more than that, all that effort was just barely keeping up with her mounting problems.

A few days before she died, she had a severe allergic reaction to her most recent medication. Her ears were literally bleeding from her scratching them and they were seeping everywhere. I had to call in some a friend and her husband (one to watch the kids and one to come and help me translate). You could tell Beth was in a lot of pain but was still so happy to be going for a car ride. It was a LONG night and we ended up going home with more medicine, a cone so she couldn’t scratch, and another appointment with our regular vet the next day.

The vet made it clear that our next course of action would be daily dialysis, which just wasn’t realistic for me to do without the support of Jeremy here. It would involve me bringing the kids to the vet for two hours every day while Beth got her blood cleared. Not to mention how much pain would be inflicted on her daily and how stressful that might be for her.So we made the decision to put her down the next day.

I was so grateful that everyone came together to help me that day. My friend Shawna came over to watch Oliver (Abby was at school) so that I could spend some time with Beth in the park walking and playing. Vivien came with me to the vet, while Susanne ran in the stroller with Ollie. Not to mention, so many people heard what was happening and called to offer a hand and give their support.

Beth was such a trooper and wagged her tail all the way to the vet. I was present the whole time and was able to feed her treats from the moment we got there. It must have seemed to her that she was already in heaven. I lined up with her nose to nose and talked and smiled with her during the procedure. The end came very fast – one minute she was there listening to me tell her how wonderful she was and how much we loved her, and then she was gone.

After four years she was finally at peace -- no more pain, no more medicines, no more uncertainty. Amazing for her, but simply heartbreaking for us.

I’m going to miss that sweet spirit.

It not quite the same at feeding time – I’m still waiting to see her coming hopping around the corner like a bunny. I miss how honestly shocked she looked every time she woke up and saw one of the kids. It’s almost like she was thinking “what is that and when did it come here?” I miss how only half her tail wagged because the bottom half never healed from the break.

I miss everything.

Poor Gracie spent the first few days sitting in her box outside and sleeping in front of the door just in case she came back.

Poor Abby was seriously confused on why Dad could come home but Beth couldn’t since they were both away and we couldn’t see them. Just for the record, April was the WORST possible month for all this to happen, because Easter came and I had to deal with trying to explain why Jesus died and came back but Beth couldn’t die and come back. Not to mention, she came down with a terrible ear infection and ran a fever of 102.5 for three days. Then we got to talk about how Beth got sick and died but Abby is sick and won’t die. Ugh. Now everyone seems to be back to normal, for the most part, considering.

The whole neighborhood was lit up in these beautiful vibrant yellow flowers the weekend after Beth died. It was so wonderful to see them and remember her.

I brought a nice present and card to the vet, who had become my friend after so many visits.

Beth was a great comfort to me, an amazing dog, and a much loved member of our family. I look forward to seeing her again in the eternities. Goodness knows, she’ll probably still have that broken tail.