I'm going to go ahead and guess that many of you missed this season's Westminster Dog Show. I had to follow the action online because three of the nine English channels I get to watch here were all things Olympics, which kind of bends me a little. Seriously, the Olympics are great but the real competition went unnoticed.
Here are some reasons why dog show dogs deserve to get some love:
Dogs have to hone their skills by 12, because after that they are usually dead. Could you imagine how awesome the half pipe would be if Shawn White had to hammer out his moves by the age of six. I'm going to go ahead and guess that the speed skating wouldn't be so speedy.
Dogs have to look good after running around the ring a few times. That's like asking the downhill skiers to walk the runway after a few bunny hills in the helmet. I don't think any of them would make it into the Olympic calendar. Don't even get me started on how bad they might smell.
Dogs have to rely on a human counterpart to "lead" them in a circle. They get no say in how uppity that person runs or how they choose to color coordinate their lame pant suit. No one asks the Olympic competitors what their coaches wore to the competition.
This year's best in show winner had shaggy hair, so he did that run with hair in his eyes. Let's see if you can make it to the bathroom with super long bangs.
Olympians shouldn't feel the urge to bite the other competitors. I can't get my dog from the house to the lawn without busting out some ninja restraint moves to save the little critters that live around us. Gracie just couldn't handle that kind of pressure.