Do We Smell?

Here comes an awesomely truthful rant. The purpose is not to offend people, but I’m sure it will. I write it in jest, but we all know that humor stems from the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts; suck it up!

I’ve never in my life been in a ward as weird as the one here. I’m not saying the people don’t live the Gospel, love the church or have charity -- I’m just saying we’re a big group of socially awkward nut balls. All of us. There is not one exception.

Jeremy and I have tried our hardest to be friends with everyone. Almost weekly I send messages to other moms in the ward to set up play groups. We all have kids near the same age range and we are almost ALL stay-at-home-moms. Am I needy because I think our kids (and us) could benefit from getting out of the house and having human face-to-face interactions? One lady told me I was needy straight to my face. Perhaps I am, but at least I'm not lame. And I leave my house.

If anyone even bothers to respond to my emails, I usually get tons of “I’m too busy” or “It’s too difficult for me to come see you” or, my favorite, “Maybe next week.” It’s been next week for three-and-a-half years. Next week isn’t coming. Get yourself a calendar and put my name on it already.

We’ve also had a ton of parties where we’ve invited EVERYONE in the ward. We don’t play favorites or invite people based on who likes who. You either want to come or you don’t. It’s not fifth grade. But since most people don’t come, I’m assuming perhaps we’re the people they’re looking to avoid. This is better clarified by the fact that we have gotten about five invites in three-and-a-half years to someone’s house in the ward. This doesn't include the many, many dinners I had at my friend Maryl's house. She was a shining exception. I have a feeling that we’re not the only ones who are out-of-the-loop. Isn’t a ward supposed to be a big happy family? A respite from the world?

I know you’re probably thinking we’re super losers at the moment, but it’s just not the case. We spend most of our time with people outside the ward. We’re still moving and a shaking and loving life. We just long for the days of Beijing where the ward was friends and every Sunday was a brawl to have the most guests over for dinner. We didn’t avoid each other like the plague, give people the preverbal “we should get together sometime” middle finger and avoid the people on the same base like they have the scabies.

Perhaps people just forget we exist because we live so far away.

Is it because we're Democrats (or at least I am and hope Jeremy will fully switch sides someday)?

How many more days until we leave?

P.S -- It also bothers me that expatriots around here never talk about the wives of the family. We're all obsessed with what our husbands do, where they are in the world and where they are dragging us next. It would be super nice for someone to ask me what I'VE been doing. Which, for the record, has been a lot. I've climbed Mt. Fuji, hiked the Inca trail, taken a ton of online courses in biology and political science, read 35 books since April, taught myself to run, took two vacations home, did a bible study on Daniel and lost 45 pounds. Oh, and I also cleaned my house nearly every day and parented up a storm. Thanks for asking.