We Love Bacon

Nothing says spring like a bacon-themed BBQ. Sweet Jeremy used his mad skills on Saturday to create delicious treats smoked to perfection. I am so thankful for a husband who loves to cook! My only regret: we only got photos of the food and nearly none of our amazing friends that showed up to enjoy the food with us. I hope the cholesterol-filled goodies don't cause them to have a heart attack before we're able to do it again.

Abby was a real trooper. She played quietly with her toys while we set up the smorgasbord.
Abby was so thrilled when her best friend Kristen showed up to play.

Bacon-wrapped kielbasa

BBQ chicken breasts

Bacon-wrapped meatballs

Bacon-wrapped pineapple

Chunky bacon pork and beans

King of the Castle

Question: What's the best thing about the new Dyson Vacuum?
Answer: The box it came in.

Here are the steps to thoroughly enjoy it.

Step one: Kick out the prissy dog currently occupying it. Seriously, are you a boy or a girl? I can't tell without your 'themed' bandannas. I don't know very many boys with perms.

Step Two: Command 'Pat' to get you some comfy pillows and his dog bowl to hold your cheese crackers. Don't take no for an answer.

Step Three: Get comfy and eat until content. Don't rush yourself; you're too young for a real job.

Step Four: Put your feet up. You deserve it.

Two Peas in a Pod

Spring in Japan is warm, beautiful and inviting. We took advantage of this Saturday by taking a family trip to the park.

Abby just LOVES her daddy, mostly because he isn't a 'helicopter parent.' He doesn't hover over her while she's playing, constantly check to see what's in her mouth, change her every time she gets dirty, or reinforce the rigid bedtime schedule. They spend their days together laughing, learning and exploring. It is thrilling for Abby and terrifying for me.

So I don't know why I was shocked when Jeremy decided she could use the slide by herself. SHE JUST TURNED ONE! Here I am, totally unprepared for the upcoming trauma, snapping photos and looking oblivious. This photo came right before I realized no one was at the bottom of the slide to catch her. True to form, she slide off the end and rolled around on the ground laughing. Then she ran over to daddy for a round two. They are two peas in a super crazy pod!

Here is Abby getting ready for a second trip down the slide. Yes, mommy is at the bottom this time.

Abby also likes to climb up the slide and slide down on her own. She is so independent.

Abby was laughing so hard she fell over. Needless to say, it was a long trip home.

My Joy

Abigail Sophia Robertson. The joy of my life. I am so lucky that Heavenly Father blessed our family with her sweet spirit. I am captivated by her mischievous smiles and infectious laughs. Just in case I don't say it enough, I am so grateful for Abby! I am thrilled beyond belief that I have the honor of spending my days teaching, playing and exploring with her. Being at home is a luxury, and I am ashamed to say I sometimes take it for granted. I am amazed how much fun she can be. Every new word is a cause for celebration. Every new advancement leaves me beaming with pride. What ever did I do without her?

Reeses Pieces

Isn't this the cutest baby ever? I just want to squeeze her chubby checks and smother her with little kisses. I am so excited to go home in July to see my little Reese. It's amazing how much joy babies bring into our lives, even if they are not ours. Perhaps Kim will lend Reese out for the year...

Barnyard Stank Eye

Recently, I've had a case of the blahs. Nothing too severe, just feeling a little out-of-the-loop and missing friends and family. It's hard being so far from home and knowing life is going on without you. You start to wonder if people even remember you're missing from their lives. It's easy to overlook one person missing, but I can't overlook the hundreds of friends and families we're away from. I'm not going to lie, sometimes it's rough.

So I did what always makes me happy -- taking Abby out in public to give people the stank eye. This time I took her to the zoo. She didn't disappoint; Stank eye all around. From barnyard animal to barnyard animal, it was one big HECK NO. Stay back. I'm just not that into you.

If I could read Abby's mind this is what she would be saying:


What's up 80's show pony? The only thing you're rocking is that Jon Bon Jovi bouffant. In about two months I am going to be taller than you and I'll have to bend down to give you the staredown. Don't worry, I'll make the effort.

Don't forget what I said. I won't repeat myself.

There are five guinnea pigs living in this laundry basket. I'm having none of that. My mom is crazy to touch you. You all get five seconds of stank eye. One for each of you.

Goats smell. This one is no exception. Take the picture quick before my stank eye is permanent.

Yogurt -- loves it!

Yogurt. My delicious and nutritious breakfast. I hope we always remain friends.

Wet Wipes. May we always reach into your plastic home and find you ready and waiting.

Abby. Climbing out of your high chair when I turn around does not make you a magician. Making the yogurt mess instantly disappear is more up my ally.

Best Friends

Last Sunday Jeremy and I spoke in church on the topic "husbands and wives." I based my half on the quote below. May we all be blessed to have a best friend as awesome as mine.

Marion D. Hanks of the First Quorum of the Seventy:

Married people should be best friends; no relationship on earth needs friendship as much as marriage…. Friendship in a marriage is so important. It blows away the chaff and takes the kernel, rejoices in the uniqueness of the other, listens patiently, gives generously, forgives freely. Friendship will motivate one to cross the room one day and say, “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean that.” It will not pretend perfection nor demand it. It will not insist that both respond exactly the same in every thought and feeling, but it will bring to the union honesty, integrity. There will be repentance and forgiveness in every marriage—every good marriage—and respect and trust.

Fat Boy PT

If I was in the military I'd be in Fat Boy Physical Training, which is basically the same as regular physical training but they make you do it twice a day. Running, push-ups, sit-ups, gym time, dodgeball, whatever -- I'd need a healthy military-regulated daily dose. It's for the people that ate a little too many sweets between their six-month physical fitness tests, or, in my case, for the first half of my life. I'm sure there's a more politically correct term than Fat Boy PT, but that's what it is, and we all know who's in the program.

So in order to change my F-A-T to a P-H-A-T I started training for a half marathon. Shocking, I know. So far I can run 2 miles (3.2K) in 23 minutes. The military considers running that distance in 20 minutes a pass. So, in other words, they would give me a big fat "F" for my effort. At least now, after a few tries, I am able to do it without walking a portion of it.

My schedule is listed below. Feel free to let me know if you want to join the fun train.

I run Mondays, Wednesdays, Friday and Saturday:

Week One -- 3.2K, 3.2K, 3.2K, 3.2K
Week Two -- 3.2K, 3.2K, 3.2K, 3.2K
Weed Three -- 4.8K, 3.2K, 3.2K, 4.8K
Week Four -- 4.8K, 3.2K, 3.2K, 4.8K
Week Five -- 5.4K, 3.2K, 3.2K, 6.4K
Week Six -- 5.4K, 3.2K, 3.2K, 6.4K
Week Seven -- 4.8K, 4.8K, 4K, 8K
Week Eight -- 4.8K, 4.8K, 4K, 8K
Week Nine -- 6.4K, 6.4K, 4.8K, 11.2K
Week Ten -- 8K, 6.4K, 4.8K, 12.8K
Week Eleven -- 8K, 8K, 4.8K, 16K
Week Twelve -- 8K, 8K, rest, 20.8K

Holy Guacamole

I love my sister, Kim. Let that be known before I make fun of her.

Kim is what one might call a nuggets-and-fries kind of girl. It’s an eating out staple in an extreme way. It’s not about the price; It’s all about the taste. The bland, deep-fried, crispy-on-the-outside-dry-on-the-inside flavor. Sometimes she’ll branch out to a chicken burger, which is basically a chicken nugget on a bun. She's not fooling anyone. She won’t eat anywhere ethnic or try anything new she can't pronounce. If she can’t see a nuggets and fries somewhere on her plate – she ain’t eating it.

Keeping my sister Kim in mind, I have been experimenting with Abby’s foods as soon as they would let me. I hope this will ensure she has a nice, varied palate. Spices, ethnic fruits and veggies, sauces, dressings, breads, curries – if it won’t kill her, we serve it up with a smile.

Today’s new food was guacamole. It started out promising, and then her inner Aunt Kim came out.

"First, I authentically mash the guacamole to a puree."

"Second, I smear the guacamole from the spoon all over my chin for later."

"Third, I play peak-a-boo with the bowl while I silently lick the mush with my tongue."

"Fourth, I use it to paint a delightful picture on the kitchen table."

"Last, I hold the bowl to my heart in the hope I'll never have to eat it again."

Abby: I could really use some nuggets and fries right now.....

Lent = No TV = Happiness?

From an article I read yesterday: Turning off the TV will boost your mood. People who are sad should drop the remote and see friends instead, say experts at the University of Maryland, who found a strong link between watching TV and being unhappy.

I’d say it’s working.

The Tokyo Temple

I love going to the temple, especially temples outside of the US. Every temple seems to have something special that sets it apart and the Tokyo temple is no exception. For me, it's the gorgeous hand painting of cherry blossoms at Mt. Fuji in the inner waiting room. I could sit in those comfy chairs and look at that photo for hours. I've thought more than once about taking it with me when I PCS.

The temple was so crowded on Saturday that they had to set up folding chairs down the aisles to accommodate everyone. Only in Japan would the endowment room feel like rush hour on the JR Limited Express. Man, I am going to miss this place!

I am also a lover of temple cafeterias, and in no way does the Tokyo temple disappoint. It has curry to die for. I never make the trip without indulging. Weight Watchers points shouldn't count for temple food, right?

I love doing the endowment in different languages, seeing first-hand how diverse my brothers and sisters in the gospel are. And I love that at the end of the session we all end up in the celestial room, one big melting pot of different backgrounds with the same desire -- to be in the presence of our Heavenly Father. Amazing.

Lent

Ah, Lent. The modern day sacrifice of something we love to grow closer to our Heavenly Father. A subtle remider of the 40 days Jesus spent in the desert being tempted by Satan.

The decisions, the willpower, the wonderful Catholic tradition -- that somehow, this year, I found myself a part of. Thanks to my neighoubor, Kristen "I wanted to be a nun" Schell, I was snaggled into supporting her Lent with a little ditty of my own.

I know. I know. I'm Mormon. The "life-time of Lent" religion. Most of the things most "Lenters" sacrifice -- drinking, dating, swearing, smoking, buying stuff on Sunday, coffee, tea, etc -- we're already not allowed to do at anytime. It's all lent, all the time, with no Marti Gras to make up for it! We're not even allowed to pick new things every year. The Lent-list, with all its joys, goes on eternally. Or at least until heaven, where I've convinced myself I'll be allowed to drink again.

But I digress....

So what did I -- and Jeremy and Abby by default -- sacrifice this year for Lent? Our fancy new 50-inch plasma TV. For the next 40 days, my BFF (the TV) won't be on from 7-7 Monday to Friday, which gives us just enough time at night to watch the news and hit the sack by 8. Party on, oldtimers. I figure Saturdays and Sundays don't really count because we're never here anyway.

So feel free to call or email me over the next 40 days. If I miss your call I'll probably be outside drawing pictures in the sand with a stick. Rebel yell.
Jeremy's actual TV from the Panasonic website. The only difference being this one is on and ours is not.

*Tear*

Unhappy Birthday

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to. And I do want to.

It all started off smiles and giggles as we got in our party dress and prepared for cake and presents.


Then sweet daddy tried to put on the evil birthday hat. My whole world ended. I cried so hard I smeared cake all over my face as I wiped away the tears.

It only got better when I was able to eat the delicious cake on my mom’s lap.

I smiled in the bathtub for a few minutes.

But then I got super angry when I couldn’t get my toys out of their packages. And I cried again.

Birthdays stink. I’m staying one forever.

Samurai Students

Recently I read an interesting article debating whether or not guns should be allowed on school campuses. If you know me at all, you already know how I feel on this issue. A man they interviewed, Oda, started off with some great thoughts. Near the end of the article it became apparent that he either does drugs or plays WAY too many video games.

“Oda said banning guns on campus might do more harm than good. He said people bent on violence might resort to other, perhaps bloodier methods, such as swords. "A person that's got skill with a sword in a very big crowd could put a lot more people down with a sword than a gun," he said. "They're silent. You'll have people screaming, but nobody knows what's going on."

Sure swords aren’t as loud as guns, but don’t you think they are a little more obvious to carry around? Who isn’t going to see the “crazy guy with the sword” coming a mile away?

Seriously?

I created a box for my students in my group English class to submit questions they had about Canadian/American culture. Many of my students are shy and hate to ask questions out loud, especially controversial questions.

Take a peak at their fascinating questions:

What is love?
Is there someone you like?
Why are you so cute?
What are you doing at 9 PM?

Seriously?

Thanks for the heads up!

The other day I was flipping through Foxnews.com and happened to come across this article. The best part is that no one bothered to tell us this happened at all. You would think someone might want to send the Zama Community a memo. For example, FYI -- someone tried to bomb the military base you live on last night. If you happen to spot any "radical guerillas" in your neighbourhood let us know. Sweet mercy.

TOKYO — A small explosion occurred outside a U.S. Army base south of Tokyo late Monday, police and military officials said. A Japanese news report said police suspected an attempted attack on the base.

The Army was investigating the blast, said an official at Camp Zama who spoke on condition of anonymity, adding that there were no reports of injuries or damage.

"A small explosion was heard in the vicinity of the base," said Maj. David Smith, a Pentagon spokesman. "It did not occur on the base."

Kyodo News agency reported that police had found a "launch pad" near the base and suspected an attempted guerrilla attack. The Army could not immediately confirm what had caused the explosion.

A Kanagawa Prefecture police official who only gave his name as Okamura said Zama residents reported hearing the explosion around 11 p.m. and police were investigating.

In 2002, two blasts were heard outside Camp Zama, and Japanese police found a metal projectile and a crude mortar made from a metal pipe nearby. Investigators blamed radical guerrillas for the explosions, which caused no injuries.

I Can’t Take It

I am not a fan of holiday sweaters. This extends beyond Christmas. In fact, they send my OCD into overdrive. Snowmen do not belong on shirt; they go on the grass. Presents are not for collars; they go in my sock. I’m sorry, but I need to get that out. I’m a Christmas/Halloween/Easter sweater scrooge. Let it be known.

Boiled Meat -- Yum!

Two of Jeremy’s friends from Toronto were in Japan on vacation and we were lucky enough to meet up with them for dinner. It was our first time going into Japan by ourselves and we got lost on the way to the restaurant. One map and gyro later we rolled up under the shiny electric sign to meet our friends.

The meal of choice was hot pot. Hot pot it is like a meat fondue – you pick what meat and vegetables you want to eat, and then you spend the rest of the time boiling the items and eating them from sticks. I’m not a fan of boiled meat but loved the whole experience. We were having so much fun that they had to kick us out when they closed. I think they tried to give us a few polite signs to get a move on but then lost their temper and just yelled “time over.” Memo sent.

I hit the bathroom before I left but was sad to see – on a sign behind the toilet – that they only authorize you 5 cms of toilet paper per visit. What ?!?!?!? Clearly they don’t know who they are dealing with. You can’t have an all-you-can-eat hot pot buffet and then put conditions on the result of that meal. I used half a roll just to spite them.

Japanese Home Hardware

I love this store. It really has everything. It even has a pet store in the back. They have the cutest little miniature puppies that you can pet. Japanese people here love little dogs, especially weiner dogs; a breed I hate thanks to Peanut, Kammi’s dog. They only have a few bigger puppies but they are kept in glass cages. We saw a black lab puppy that I really wanted to take home. Jeremy had to pull me away. Dogs here are really expensive, like $1,000-$2,000, and they aren’t always purebred. I think people here thrive on wasting money.

The best thing I found here was a mushroom growing kit. You buy an old log with some fertilizer on it and then put it in a dark place and watch them grow. They are hilarious. Who wants to keep an old log in their closet that has fungus growing all over it? Fit that in my stock, Santa.

Captain Danger

We have a Costco near our home. This sounded too good to be true so we took off to check it out even though we don’t have our new house yet. I should have realized that the trip was going to go downhill when we couldn’t find parking. Instead of leaving like we should have we tackled the escalator in the pouring rain. Although there were a tons of signs that said not to attempt to walk down the slippery stairs I did just that. All of a sudden it became a slip and slide and down I went grabbing for the rail. I cut myself on the step and got my pants all dirty. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Jeremy yells out – whoa, Captain Danger. Thanks for the embarrassing shout out!

Hurt and embarrassed, I hobbled in to check it out. The prison-like guard that mans the membership cards spotted us and blocked our entry. Playing the stupid Americans got us no where. Unfortunately they found someone who spoke English to get us a membership. Apparently she wasn’t fluent enough to realize that she put Jeremy under my picture and Denise under his. Looks like I’ll get to forge his signature every time I want some comfort food.

The store itself was just like home. They even had the same bored vendor people handing out tiny samples of junk. I would go over and get the sample and then look totally interested for two minutes while they explained/described the product in Japanese. Dudes, I don’t understand you. I just want the food and then I want to walk away without the language lesson. I don’t have much use in my vocabulary for Tyson’s Chicken Nuggets. Thanks for understanding.

Costco, you are not my friend.

Random Notes

Need a great idea for presents that are both totally hip and charitable? The proceeds for the products on this website go to hard working women in Uganda. Check out this website – http://www.grassrootsuganda.org/

The best item I bought last year was a head torch. It’s wonderful to have if one person likes to stay up later than the other, the lights go out or if you’re lost in Kenya and need to see your way home in the dark. They are amazing. This website is awesome for buying things like this. Check it out – http://www.beprepared.com/

I really don’t like birds; that includes all birds. They are loud, dirty and annoying. Jeremy loves to watch them fly around but I’m not into that. Just thought you should know.